One thought on “Parentification and the Codependent Four-Year-Old

  • September 28, 2019 at 3:07 pm

    Hi Lenora,

    I wanted to thank you for having the courage to write this blog. I have read and reread your posts over the last week, as my life has so many parallels. I also am a recovering codependent, have a narcissistic maternal grandmother, grew up with engulfing narcissistic helicopter parents, and stayed in my parents basement until the age of 30. I finally moved out shortly before becoming engaged with my fiance. That was when shit really hit the fan, I woke up and remembered everything I had felt as a child, that there was something abnormal about my FOO. I spent my 20s in denial, becoming more and more submissive, isolated, depressed, and was constantly drawn to abusive people and situations.

    The way they reacted to my very late blooming independence, which had been sabotaged and stifled since an early age, was a huge read flag that started my obsessive research into narcissism and the toxic family dynamics. Your blog goes into great detail with examples of covert abuses, brainwashing, codependency training, etc etc etc. I have had yet to find such a detailed description of a situation eerily similar to mine. It is extremely validating. I hope this reply to your post will be validating for you as well. We are, as we know, not alone!

    I wish you the best in life, thank you so much for sharing. You have helped me enormously.

    Take care.


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