13 thoughts on “Introverts: We’re NOT Just Broken Extroverts

  • April 6, 2018 at 4:53 pm

    Thank you, thank you! I am an introvert and I am not broken! I am very normal, for me. I was constantly asked when out with people WHY I was not having fun. I was having fun, my way, which for me is to observe quietly, my surroundings, and the things going on.. I do not jump up and down and yell or laugh with abandom. I am quiet but enjoying myself. I don’t go out much anymore with people who WON’T understand me. I prefer going bird watching solo or staying home with all my books and the art projects I’m currently am working on. I like being by myself, which one psychiatrist told me was actually a good thing, to enjoy my own company. Anyway, I am rambling on, just wanted to say thank you for your words, they really hit home for me.

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  • April 7, 2018 at 7:18 am

    I had a blog a few years ago that explored my introverted nature. I dare say that learning to understand and even love that part of myself gave me the confidence to begin speaking up around my parents who have narcissistic tendencies. I thought my head and my heart were going to explode the first time I stood up to them and told them what I REALLY thought rather than just sit quietly and listen to their BS. They don’t understand what happened to their “quiet” kid. haha! Quietly confident. Quietly powerful. Quietly awesome. Too bad they are unable to see that.

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  • April 7, 2018 at 9:52 am

    I have a couple of comments..or maybe more:
    One, some “doers” are not so much extroverts who need stimulation from outside themselves, but are running from something that occurs when they are not busy—pain of some kind.

    Two, I’ve always known that if i’m Alone in very old age or for some other reason, I will NEVER be bored or alone, really, because I have me! , my brain, my thoughts, my books, laptop, etc. but even with no electronic connection, I have pen and paper, books and most of all, my thoughts!

    Three, I will never understand doers as long as I live! And that is too bad for both of us.

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  • April 7, 2018 at 10:50 am

    Hey, I’ve met a lot of VERY nice dogs over the years!

    Author P.G. Wodehouse was a bit of an introvert, too. When his wife would fill the house with people for a party, he would frequently escape through the back and take the dogs for a nice long walk!

    I would also add, though, that the natural tendency to be an introvert can be exacerbated by being raised by narcissists. Even as an adult, if I invited my parents, both narcissists, to MY home for a dinner with MY guests, they would simply take over as host and hostess, relegating my husband and myself to the roles of cook, butler, and bottle washers. They would have a wonderful evening regaling MY guests with their Personality while we waited on everyone, then go home all boompsadaisy while we crawled to the nearest chair in pain and had to take a nap to have enough energy to go to bed!

    It was simply easier, less stressful, and less painful on multiple levels to put my introversion on steroids and stick to dogs!

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    • April 7, 2018 at 10:54 am

      Seriously, Anya. You have a WAY with words!!!! I love how you wrote “Personality” with a capital “P”! I’m on a first name basis with all the dogs in two counties too! 😀 Thanks for commenting.

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    • April 8, 2018 at 7:33 pm

      “Take a nap to have enough energy to go to bed”-sure can relate to that one! I love being around people, its just very wearing. I like this term I learned from a man who had a social group for introverts-he called it a “social hangover”. He would organize activities for the group, but the rule was you don’t have to say anything or even participate if you didn’t want to-you could just “be”. It was great! Really helped me learn to feel comfortable with who I am.

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      • April 8, 2018 at 7:40 pm

        I used to say I had a “hangover” after social events too. Huh. We are not alone!

          🙂
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  • April 7, 2018 at 11:06 am

    Thank you, Lenora!

    And I have almost everything Wodehouse ever wrote! One of the Mulliner ones details an introverted curate serving under a bit of a bully who finds his voice through a tonic called Mulliner’s Buck-u-uppo. Classic!!

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    • April 7, 2018 at 11:09 am

      LOL. I GOTTA read that! Is “Buck-u-uppo” real? Where can I get it!? The Vermont Country Store? LOL 😉

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  • April 7, 2018 at 11:14 am

    Sadly, no, Lenora, Buck-u-uppo is not available in stores, as they say. But if you ever DO find it, get the grade B — and send me a case! (You will understand that comment after you read the story.)

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  • April 8, 2018 at 7:27 pm

    I had to laugh out loud when I read, “when we go to parties, we talk to children and dogs”, hahaha! Well, I don’t talk to dogs, though they usually seek me out. They’re not mentally stimulating, but I am always drawn to the children and they to me. They’re just so honest and straightforward. I find I’m also very literal minded-I can’t keep up with the social cues and the when-you-say-this-it-really-means-that kind of thing. Great book on this is Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Won’t Stop Talking.

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  • September 27, 2019 at 3:09 am

    YES! I’ve gotten so much crap over the years from people who thought I needed to be more like them, that if I wasn’t, I was “broken” and just making excuses for not being more like them. It led to guys not dating me, to people making personal remarks, to people talking about me behind my back….About 10 years ago I was severely emotionally abused by a narcissistic couple because I wasn’t extroverted; it was so bad that I had to write about it on my blog as therapy–leading me to discover what narcissism was.

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