5 thoughts on “Narcissistic Abuse Makes Us Say “I Couldn’t”

  • December 16, 2017 at 9:51 am

    Other people had a reasonable expectation of walking in the door from school to find a parent who was glad to see them and not shrieking, angry, dismissive, or abusive — I couldn’t.
    Other people could generally know what they done to incur parental wrath — I couldn’t.
    Other people had a reasonable expectation that exhibiting the same behavior on their part would elicit a predictable response on their parents’ part — I couldn’t.
    Other people could grow up in a home that was not filled with severely abused teen foster daughters even more screwed up than they were — I couldn’t.
    Other people could be kids and not have to parent their parents — I couldn’t.
    Other people could call the dog or cat “my dog” or “my cat” without being lectured in a “how could you be so selfish” tone and told the animal was most decidedly NOT theirs — I couldn’t.
    Other people could have their parents having problems without being blamed for one or both parents wanting to leave the marriage — I couldn’t. (I was eleven at the time, but if you asked them now, it’d be the same as they still believe it.)
    Other people could call their room theirs without being reminded that they could only have it until someone else wanted or needed it — I couldn’t.
    Other people could hear their parents use approving adjectives to describe them — I couldn’t.
    Other people could achieve things and enjoy the experience rather than having one or more parent mar any celebration of their achievement — I couldn’t.
    Other people could reasonably expect to be loved — I couldn’t.

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  • December 21, 2017 at 12:49 am

    Other people could be hugged and loved when feeling sad – I couldn’t.
    Other people didn’t have to lie about how they were feeling – I couldn’t.
    Other people didn’t have to fake anything – I couldn’t.
    Other people could have adult conversations about how a statement made them feel hurt – I couldn’t.
    Other people are allowed to show their anger and resentment and fight for a better situation – I can’t.
    Other people are believed when explaining the situation – I’m not.

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  • February 23, 2018 at 5:23 am

    Yes, I think my personality was molded by narcisist abuse becouse I can relate with 100% of what you put on that list. Can we change that? Couse no matter how far I am from them I still feels stuck.

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    • February 23, 2018 at 1:31 pm

      Absolutely, you can change and become “unstuck.” I’ll be honest through. I takes years and a helluva lot of work, reading, journaling, introspection, crying, research and as much therapy as you can afford.

      How long has it been since you “discovered” narcissism?

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  • April 7, 2018 at 10:36 am

    Others can believe they are good…I couldn’t
    Others know they are not the abuser… I couldn’t
    Others know the don’t have to live in fear… I couldn’t

    I separated from my wife, I ran, while I had the chance…

    Reply
 

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