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The Nice-Nasty-Nice-Nasty Narcissistic Carrot-and-Stick Pattern

You’ve heard of the Carrot & Stick Approach? According to Wikipedia, “It is based on the idea that a cart driver might activate a reluctant mule by dangling a carrot in front it and smacking it on the rear with a stick.” Not unlike narcissistic manipulation, eh!? They act nice (carrot) and when that fails, they turn nasty (stick). Wash-rinse-repeat. Over and over ad nauseum. As if we’re so stupid, that we don’t recognize the pattern. Personally, I find it humorous, y’know, just a little around the edges.

Here are real-life quotes from the nice-nasty-nice-nasty pattern played out in a friend’s life.
He didn’t fall for it…and neither should you. Forewarned, as they say, is forearmed!

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The Nice-Nasty-Nice-Nasty Narcissistic Carrot-and-Stick Pattern

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  1. My mother: Your sister’s mother-in-law’s funeral is at blah-blah. You’ll be there?

    Me: No I won’t be going to that funeral.

    My mother: Why ever not?

    Me: Because my sister and I are estranged but I did send a condolence message to my brother-in-law.

    My mother: But you HAVE to go to the funeral! What about your nephews? They’ll be so hurt.

    Me: No mum. I’m not going to the funeral.

    My mother: But your brother-in-law…he’ll be so hurt that you won’t be there.

    Me: I’ve I already said mum I have sent him a condolence message about his mum.

    My mother: Well, have it your way. But all your cousins will be there. Are you sure you won’t come. We all need support at times like this.

    Me: Bye mum.


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