8 thoughts on “The Impatience of Narcissists

  • May 20, 2017 at 6:56 pm

    Thank you for sharing your experience.

    Know I understand much better why I am not able to walk in a relaxed pace and always feel time pressured and stressed.

    From now on I will teach myself to walk somewhere without being half out of breath and remind myself that I have no need to feel stressed.

    Regards
    Cori

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  • May 20, 2017 at 7:13 pm

    I find some solace in knowing I’m not alone in the struggle, but I hate that anyone goes through this. My (soon-to-be-ex) husband meets all the criteria. There was no time to appreciate a museum, scenery, hike, or family time. No, sir! I’d have to hear him bitch about how I was throwing off his schedule, his legs hurt from working out, he was tired, he needed to be grading or writing his “novel,” there were too many bugs, all the other people were annoying, using a public bathroom with low-grade toilet paper inflamed his hemorrhoids and it was my fault for wanting to go…

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    • May 20, 2017 at 7:47 pm

      Sounds like a real pain in the….oops. 😉 Thanks for sharing!

      Reply
  • May 23, 2017 at 1:27 am

    Wow, this resonates so much! And (TMI warning), my husband also has to tell me over and over that I can take my time, especially in bed. Our sex life is pretty much summed up by ‘I’m sorry I’m taking so long!’ followed by ‘honey I could do this all day, it’s fine!’. Putting my needs first and taking my time is SO HARD because to this day my mother’s impatience haunts me.

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  • July 4, 2019 at 4:10 am

    I have idenitfied some narcisstic traits about myself and was wondering if i had had NPD – but this article sadly proves it to even me. The fury I feel at waiting, the unacceptable slowness of literally everybody else in th world enrages me – time to take a long hard look at myself and my behaviour. But, in true narc form (taking no responsiblity for my own actions) its not intentional, I dont mean to behave like this, its just there its as automatic as breathing. And everybody IS slow and annoying so I’m just reacting to their incapability to get anything done! Oh god I know its awful and if it helps I’m starting to see how badly I behave.

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    • July 4, 2019 at 11:09 am

      Then you’re a narcissist-in-a-million because most don’t observe themselves let alone admit to feeling shame. Good for you! 😀 Of course, if were talking about the slow, annoying crowds at WalMart, we ALL feel that way! LOL

      I’ve recently started taking a homeopathic calming supplement from Walgreens called “Calms Forte.” It took away my irritation like magic. Just kinda’ smoothed out life and made me feel more patient and more peaceful. Not a solution for NPD but life and people are annoying especially if you’re someone with a high IQ!

      Thanks for reading my article. I wish you well on your healing journey!

      Lenora

      Reply
  • January 24, 2020 at 9:59 am

    I was so punctual that I would become angry at my kids if I thought they were making me late for an appointment, and I finally got therapy for it. I would never make someone wait. My behaviour was pathological because of how it affected others. My narcissistic mother would always be in a hurry. It was codependency, perfectionism, fear-anxiety, and enabling of my narcissistic father, who would sit in the car and beep the horn while she had to make four little kids look perfect for church and get them out of the house. We were caught between their impatience. She remained a perpetual motion machine into her 80s – it was freakish, because you had to be in lockstep with her – and she resented every single thing she had to do, simple things, like cleaning up a bit. In the past, I thought my husband was trying to provoke me (paranoid much?) because he did not answer right away. He actually needed time to think. lol. I’m better now, but I realize how very sick it is, to be exposed to people like this. I would visit my parents and be exhausted for three days.

    This behaviour can easily spill over into the next generation, as I discovered. I had to learn new ways. Awareness is key. Thank you for this article. It explains things so well.

    Reply
  • May 13, 2020 at 9:52 am

    My mother raised me to be a narcissist magnet. I was always to be a people pleaser. If momma ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy. So, of course, I married a narcissist. He made me feel like I was on a pedestal right up until the “I dos” were said. We have been married nearly 36 years. On a narcissism scale of 1 to 5, I put him at a solid 3. Sometimes, I actually enjoy being around him, but since I stopped being his primary source of narcissistic supply, he stays gone most days. He leaves early and doesn’t come home until late in the evening (he is retired military and does odd jobs in the area). His primary source of supply is a young woman that was born 6 weeks after we got married. I remind him of that now and then. I do not believe there is anything physical going on (I don’t want to share TMI as to why), but I can easily see that the emotional intimacy that should be mine goes to her and his sister-in-law. To be perfectly blunt, I am usually left sucking hind tit. (Pardon my crudeness, but we live out in the country.) It hurt so much to be ignored all the time, but I decided a few years ago that I needed to choose not to allow myself to hurt because of him. If he could ever read my mind, he would be in for a shock at what I really think of him now. Every time he has one of his little tantrums, or snaps at me, or is out having fun with one of his other “wives,” I love him just a little bit less. Choices have consequences. He can just live with them (provided he ever sees and understands them). I am still learning to control my reactions to his gaslighting/lies and the resentment I feel. Every time he says he is going to do something for me or us, I think to myself that I will believe it when I see it. It is a good thing that I am an introvert and usually enjoy my time alone. I get lonely on occasion, but I am a consummate sugar addict, an avid old movie watcher, a crafter extraordinaire, and I have a cat; I can usually find something to make me feel good. We never had children and I cannot afford financially to walk away, so I just do the best I can. I am so glad I found PsychCentral and I appreciate your articles/insights very much. Thank you!

    Reply
 

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