11 thoughts on “4 Ways Narcissists React to Our Boundaries

  • April 21, 2017 at 3:25 pm

    Here is a new tactic – they blame you for someone else in the family setting a boundary. As in “YOU are the one who put this in their head! It’s all your fault. THEY didn’t care what I did so YOU must be behind everything.’
    This is why I think I should most likely not have a relationship. I get blamed and lied about regarding everything.

    • May 27, 2017 at 9:52 am

      Hey! Think about this: when you have a healthy relationship, you will NOT get blamed and accused for things you are not responsible for. Guess what? You DESERVE a healthy relationship and look to have one. ;)!

  • May 22, 2017 at 10:32 pm

    Absolutely true, and for violent narcissists step #4 of “Discard” may mean destroy/harm/fatally harm as we read in the press too often.

  • June 15, 2017 at 7:15 pm

    … Thank you for being my new favorite blog. You nail everything to a ‘T’!

  • August 14, 2017 at 1:58 am

    The pouting is the worst!!! It would last until he wanted to have sex.

  • October 18, 2017 at 11:51 pm

    Too funny, the squeaky door thing, I recall that one real well. But for some reason i slammed my bedroom door and it did something to the knob. That door never would open from the outside again! lol…and Mom never did figure out how it happened, but what a sense of freedom to hear her standing at the door, “open this door, right now!” And I didn’t. Just turned up the music and enjoyed the peace!
    By the way, I was discarded by my husband of 17 years, about a year ago. I thought I would die, and actually welcomed it. But lately I’m starting to realize it was the best thing that could have ever happened to me. Still not healthy completely, I have isolated myself like you wouldn’t believe, but I’m starting to think it might be time to go out in the world a little bit. It has been the loneliest time of my life but has also forced me to go within to find relief. Things have a way of happening for a reason, because that is what finally got me on my path to healing. When I was discarded I also lost my best friend, he got to her first with his smear campaign, poor little him and what a bitch I was, yada yada…but that was a big part of my own healing as well. I had to face myself and dig really deep, trying to understand why I allowed the abuse for so damn long, knowing darn well I was being slowly consumed but unable to do a thing about it. And even after the discard I yearned for him, thinking the pain I went through was worth it, to not have to be so afraid and alone. He discarded me for good though because he knew I saw him, I saw all of him, I saw the truth of him and told him exactly what I saw. He left me like he would a broken television, no good whatsoever anymore. But there was a little spark left that he missed and that is what saved me, the will to survive is stronger that all of us, and I have but and I’m turning my life upside down, because I am no longer a victim waiting to be used up and spit out. I have something good to offer this world and I’m taking back my own power, no more do I ever give it away. Roar! lol…

    • August 29, 2019 at 2:08 pm

      Hawk, I was so incredibly inspired by your post, thank you SO much for giving me such a amazing glimpse of what is possible. The STRUGGLE toward healing is a struggle to be proud of. Thanks again

  • June 22, 2018 at 12:34 pm

    Oh yes, the ” I’m so worried about you ” excuse to break a boundary. When my kids were babies, my attempts to nap when I put them down , were always disrupted by one of her multiple phone calls a day. When I finally decided to turn off the ringer, she showed up at the house pounding on the door because she was convinced someone had broken in and murdered us all! The comment ” how could I do that to her ?” It was ongoing, no matter how I tried to manage it, she always won as though it were a competition. It took me years to learn how to nap without waiting for the shoe to drop, and without guilt!

    • March 2, 2019 at 11:14 am

      I have an anxious mom and I can be anxious as well regarding my children , , the actions do not neccesaeily concern me in your comment, what would comcern me is if you sat with her and explained to her and she was allowed to explain as well and you came up with a resolution and then she still did it .. that would comcern me ….

  • February 8, 2019 at 10:19 am

    Lol, thanks for explaining why my father in law leaves the room when I enter it 🙂 I’m a terrible source of narcissistic supply, daring to say his bouts are his problem and that I can recommend him a good psychiatrist – being open about the fact of my therapy makes me immune to “you’re crazy” accusations.
    He wouldn’t be my father in law if his son did the same… but I sometimes have an impression that his family perceives me as a narcissist – because if I don’t let others control me, they expect me to want to control others. And sometimes my husband handles the control over everything to me to avoid making any decisions 🙁
    I have my issues, my mother is likely borderline and my attachment pattern is avoidant, but I hate control either way.


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