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Narcissist’s Bad Definition of You vs the Good Person You Really Are

All autobiographies serve a purpose beyond income, fame and book tours. They are the author’s opportunity to redefine themselves as they see themselves. A scoundrel’s autobiography is his or her big chance to whitewash their identity and try to make their shocking actions somehow “okay.” An honest person’s autobiography is their big chance to tell their side of the story and divulge the details no one knew, until now, to recapture the good reputation they may’ve lost through being the victim of gossip, lies and secrets. They will come off smelling like a rose. In both cases, the autobiography is all about defining yourself.

2 thoughts on “Narcissist’s Bad Definition of You vs the Good Person You Really Are

  • December 11, 2018 at 3:07 pm

    Lol! Lived under a ‘shit identity’ for sure! I could never predict when, but during the 17 years I was trapped with a covert malignant narcissistic mother, she frequently gathered the 4 younger siblings when she saw me in a room and acted like they all needed to protect themselves from me by saying I was a monster and to stay away from me. Actually, I was kind and compassionate and assumed my siblings were hurting the way I was so I nurtured them and felt genuine care for them. Until, sadly, the ‘day’ I went NC with toxic mother and they turned on me themselves just like they’d been trained. Toxic mother is the monster and she knows it deep down as evidenced by the projection. Her words and name calling hurt deeply, there’s no excuse for treating a child with disdain and contempt. She was constantly cruel to me but adults thot she was so sweet with her victim story. She also called me self-righteous, wordly, unforgiving, and disgusting, among others. As much as I could, I hid my ambitions from her but the longer I got perfect grades in high school the more she insisted (read: raged) that I was ruining my next youngest sister and brother’s self esteems. Hmmm. I’m glad I’m old enough now to let her own that shit identity. I have my own life long identity work to do now, which I’ll gladly take responsibility for. And thank you, I agree, I am a good person!

    • December 11, 2018 at 7:23 pm

      Wow! What a story! It sounds as if your mother practiced a kind-of “Parental Alienation” towards you, to alienate you from your brothers and sisters. It’s a tale I’m only too familiar with after having been assigned the role of “evil step-mother.”

      Your use of the word “worldly” is a huge trigger. How many times I heard that!

      Thank you for sharing and all the best to you on your healing journey.

      ~ Lenora


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