Narcissism Meets Normalcy, the blog you’re reading right now, almost ended before it began. It almost got hijacked and taken over by narcissists. This is the story behind the story. The story I never told you. If you thought my articles were dramatic before — meh. In the words of Al Jolson, “You ain’t heard nothin’ yet.”

Writing about narcissism was my dream. An unlikely dream because the topic is narrow and unpleasant. But sometimes dreams do come true. So when Dr. John Grohol, the founder of PsychCentral, agreed to allow me a six-month trial to write about narcissism, I was ecstatic! I couldn’t believe the topic I’d been obsessed with and immersed in for years was going to become my new career. My way of giving back to others and creating a legacy for good.

With much fear, trembling and midnight proofreading, the first article was publish on January 7th, 2016. Ten days later, an acquaintance tried to destroy me, my new career and this blog by vile, untrue comments about me and my husband. Of course, they called us narcissists. Luckily, Dr. Grohol was wise enough to see through their allegations, name-calling and vitriol. Now he knew what I was dealing with. Now, he could see why I wanted to write about narcissism. Now he saw that I had personal experience and a lot of it.

The attack fanned the flames of my passion to fight narcissism, to help others escape its clutches and discover normalcy.

But if I thought that attack was the last, I couldn’t have been more wrong. And I couldn’t have imagined just how crazy things would get.

It was only a matter of time before more narcissists, narcissists whom I knew personally, found this blog and went on the offensive. But here’s what you don’t know, what I’ve never told you.

They tried to forbid me from using my name and
make me re-establish contact with them
so they could control Narcissism Meets Normalcy…and me.

And threatened to destroy me financially if I didn’t comply. Or did I mention that already?

I know, right. Narcissists have a way of confirming your armchair diagnosis of them. Even while they’re denying and reviling what you write, they prove it over and over again.

In mind control scenarios, the first thing taken from you is your name. Actors are given a stage name. Porn stars and strippers take a performer name. Soldiers are identified by their serial number. Taking away your identity is the first step to breaking down your psyche so you can be controlled.

In March of 2016, my abusers tried to forbid me from using the legal name I was given at birth. Y’know, the name used on finances, property titles, our marriage license. The name I had used professionally and built my career and reputation upon. The name family, friends, classmates and coworkers knew me by. They tried to erase the “me” I was for thirty-two years by forcing me to remove all online trace that “I” had ever existed.

Oh Hell No!

But the crazy didn’t end there. Why would it!?

They also demanded, if I may paraphrase, that I inform my readers that I’m a liar at the end of each and every article. If I had complied, that would, actually, have been the first lie I ever told my readers. I’m not a liar so I refused to lie to my readers by telling them that I’m a liar because that would’ve been the first lie I ever told them and, like I said, I’m not a liar. And that just might be my longest run-on sentence yet. Deep breath!

The “cherry on top” of their demands was that I acquiesce to re-establish contact with them, ostensibly so they could inform me of when their other demands were violated. Of course, they said that was all they’d use the channel of communication for. Aw, isn’t that sweet!!?

Can you say, “mind fuck”? As you might imagine, my response was another big, fat…

Oh Hell No!

Borrowing just a soupçon of clairvoyance from the narcissists’ bag of tricks, I’m assuming they would have been quick to demand changes to the content of my articles anytime it reflected negatively on them. It was their modus operandi for three decades. Why would anything change now!?! In other words….

Narcissists tried to take over this blog.

Like every abusive family, I was taught to never, ever talk about family life to anyone. They taught me to dodge questions, make up intricate lies and play stupid. Tear up my journals. Have them proofread all my letters before mailing, all my emails before sending. Narcissism Meets Normalcy is literally their worst nightmare — come true. The destruction of decades of lies, the crumbling of their old, calloused, wrinkled, long-worn façade.

Fortunately, a little thing called Freedom of Speech came to my defense. Ever heard of it? Who knew it applies even to us, the  narcissists’ victims!?! No shit!

It’s a funny thing. The more you try to silence someone, the less it works. Dictators (narcissists, all!) know that. A college professor once told me that when Fidel Castro came to power in Cuba, he massacred all the printers. I’ve known a lot of printers in my former career as a graphic designer. I always liked them. Printers are quiet, skillful little men whose only crime is knowing how to operate a lithography offset printing press. So why did Castro kill them?

They could communicate in a massive way.

Thanks to the internet, so can I. So can you! We can tell our stories and tell them in a massive, international way. Stories that can give others that “aha” moment much better than any dry, dusty list of narcissistic traits. Stories make those traits live and breathe so others can say, “That’s exactly what happened to me!”. Narcissists hate it because they “loved darkness rather than light, because their deeds were evil.” (John 3:19)

Now you know the real story of what was going on in the background of Narcissism Meets Normalcy in 2016. I’m happy to say that the narcissists utterly failed in their attempts. They did their damnedest to destroy, intimidate, silence, threaten, extort and distract me. To make it impossible to concentrate on writing. But they failed. I just kept on writing, churning out two articles every week like clockwork come Hell or high water. They threw good money after bad, revealing just how much they agree that what I reveal about them is bad, is damning, is unconscionable.

Narcissism Meets Normalcy was, is and will remain free of narcissistic control, narcissistic rewriting of history, narcissistic spin jobs, narcissistic brainwashing for as long as I can breathe and pound a keyboard!

Photo by Katie Tegtmeyer