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Archives for January, 2016

Control

A Narcissist Drove Me to OCD…then Forbade It

Without my OCD stress relief, I knew I'd explode. Dad's rages drove my stress level off the charts. Then he forbade dermatillomania, my only stress relief. It was torturous! And I wasn't the only one in agony.

Once upon a time, there was a happy little family. A narcissistic Daddy who ran the show. A sweet, codependent Mommy ("Little Warden") who did everything he said. And their sweet, obedient Little Project, the apple...
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Control

Hello Narcissist. Goodbye Normalcy.

When did it happen? When did life flip upside-down? When did normalcy flee? When was my last day as a normal human being? Ah, common sense, alas, I never knew thee.

Luckily, "normal" is my husband's middle name. By marrying him, I finally got to live like everyone else. What a shock! A pleasant shock. A wonderful shock! What I'd always wanted.

An example, you say? Oh, okay. Here's a classic example of what I'm...
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Control

Dude! I’m Your Daughter, Not Your Wife!

Cringe-worthy. Kinda weird. Definitely uncomfortable. But also, flattering. My emotions ran this gamut every Tuesday and Sunday evening, the times Dad demanded I schedule to be spent, alone, with him. Playing music together. Gossiping about his wife/my mother to me. Pawing, I mean, patting me.

On the one hand, I was flattered (and guilty!) that he seemed to like me better than my mother, his wife of thirty years. We bonded over the...
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Control

When a Narcissist “Gets Religion,” You Get Screwed!

Beware the religious narcissist. They speak with the omniscient voice of God. Wield the sword of His judgment. Brandish the rod of His power. They wear the mantle of His righteousness. They goin' straight to Heaven, baby. And you, you back-slidden heathen? Well, you ain't!

Exploitation of Holy Scripture is at its finest when you give a narcissist a Bible. In fact, all cult leaders have narcissistic tendencies. You can take it...
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Catatonic

I’m Just Teasing! You’re Too Sensitive. Toughen up!

Narcissists have mean, nasty tongues. Duh! Unfortunately, the social convention of "niceness" puts a cramp in their style. Plan B: Couch the meanness in humor. It's called teasing. Now they can be as mean as they want, with plausible deniability. They ain't dun nuthin'. You're just too sensitive.

As far back as I can remember, Dad teased me. Constantly. Mom put it down to his whole family being "smart lips."
But this wasn't ordinary, ridiculous...
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Catatonic

Why Can’t I Cry? The Importance of Self-Compassion

I've got the leakiest tear ducts on the planets. Seems like I'm always sniffling about this or weeping about that. If it's not adorable videos of babies making my eyes well up, it's videos of ecstatic dogs welcoming their master home from serving overseas. Any sentimental YouTube video can get me hullabalooing into my hankie in no time. It came as quite a shock to my husband when we married in 2012. Now...
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Catatonic

You’re SO Emotional!

If I had a dollar for every time I heard, "Lenora, you're SO emotional," I'd be a rich woman today. Were you subjected to this denigration too? Does it ring any bells? If Grandsire Triples are going off in your bell tower, my sympathies. Let's explore this phenomenon together, shall we?

First, the hard truth. At times all humans are overly emotional. We are human and therefore at times we are indeed...
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False Guilt

Denial, Denial, Denial: The Bane of My Existence

I'm never alone. Denial is my constant companion. She wakes me in the morning, stays close by my side all the day and sings me to sleep at night. I'm never free of her. Never alone. Never totally at peace.

Did you ever watch Frank Capra's masterpiece It Happened One Night starring Clark Gable and the equally gorgeous Claudette Colbert. Remember that iconic "piggybacking" scene? Well, Claudette called it piggybacking, although I suppose technically...
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General

Love Makes It So Confusing

In some ways, this "healing thing" would be so much easier if I hadn't felt so loved. Yes, truly loved. The juxtaposition of love versus abuse is so confusing I can feel the pressure building inside my skull each time I think about it.

In some ways, this "healing thing" would be so much easier if I hadn't felt so loved. Yes, truly loved. The juxtaposition of love versus abuse is so confusing...
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General

What Is A Narcissist?

Illogical logic. That's what makes narc's tick!

I'm going to say something very weird, very off-putting. So stick with me here.

Narcissists are incredibly logical, yes logical, in a twisted kind of a way.

They all think, more or less, in the same illogically logical ways. That's why they're so easy to identify and so easy to understand.

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