2 thoughts on “Are You Drawn to Narcissists?

  • July 20, 2017 at 7:51 am

    I think this is a very good article.
    Habit Replacement Therapy. We all get up on autopilot in the morning having put our necessities in the usual places the night before so that they fall easily to hand and we don’t have to engage very many grey cells.
    Its our comfort zone.
    I think this happens in relationships too, and if we’ve been with a narc for too long theres a kind of subliminal rise in our ability to withstand the abusive pain and when it all goes wrong, we take the blame, of course, we’ve been set up in their coconut shy.
    Helped a friend who finally admitted she’d gone into full “sacrifice ” mode over her Tantrum Tommy and it wasn’t working.
    Her original account of the relationship was it was “really wonderful” but then a few non sequiturs and slips betwixt cup and lip flagged up something different, it was a bit of a narc festival.
    When I asked her why sacrifice was part of her modus operandi, she said it was a woman’s duty….
    “To be ?” I asked..
    “His good woman…” she replied
    “And what size is she? I asked …and got the kind of bollocking which should have beed reserved for Tommy.
    Happily they then split, then un-split, then re-split, then recently I’ve just heard about the un-re-split, and am I available for a bit of a chat?
    Of course, I’m a good friend, and providing I don’t get another bollocking.
    Trained my self out of the art of self sacrifice, or have I..?

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  • July 25, 2017 at 2:29 pm

    I’m wondering if you could please write something on a subject you haven’t covered yet. I find your articles excellent, by the way. The topic: is your child better off going through a divorce or living with a severely personality disordered (NPD) parent?
    I believe that my daughter is starting to realize that my husband gaslights her (she’s 11) and has started to comment that she’d like for the two of us to live separately. I have made two attempts at separation but he manipulated me back in twice by using the children for leverage (i.e. taking them jewelry shopping to make mommy happy and other such horrible things). I don’t know what to say to my kids about the extent of his disorder and how I managed to stay as long as I did and why…. Maybe you have some good thoughts on these complex high conflict disorders. I’m not talking narcissistic in the sense of someone who posts a lot on Facebook and is self absorbed – I’m talking about an abusive, pathological narcissist with whom I should not have had children in the first place. Except I love the children!!!

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