6 thoughts on “The Painful Catch-22 of Caring About a Narcissist

  • October 4, 2017 at 7:45 am


    WOW – thank you for the insight! I am married to a narcissist (and going through a separation process with him, which is very difficult), and he is exactly how you describe in your article. I will save this webpage for future reference! Thank you for your help. – Dee

  • October 4, 2017 at 8:14 pm

    So…. how is this different from dealing with, you know, MOST ANY HUMAN BEING?! I am suspecting more and more that this whole narcissism thing is entirely made up. Name ONE person you know who wouldn’t love it if you goals and values match theirs. Name ONE person who would have at least some difficulty dealing with you and at times would not prefer to hang out with you if your goals and values are in discord. I know of people who hang out when some of their values match; but NONE?

    • October 5, 2017 at 10:49 am

      Narcissism is not made up and it is alot more than just wanting someone to agree with you or see things your way.

      The extent a narcissist will go is beyond your comprehension and the repercussions devastating and even dangerous. A little more research may shed more light on this for you.

      Narcissist do exist. Its far more than wanting others to agree with you.

    • July 25, 2018 at 12:01 pm

      Narcissism is, unfortunately, very real. If you don’t have a relationship with an NP, consider yourself lucky.

      My narcissist husband EXPECTS me to internalize all of his superficial values and selfish desires- not the same thing as wanting a mate to support your goals and have similar values. And the repercussions for not meeting his expectations are extreme- screaming, name-calling, threats, etc. At the same time, it goes without saying, my individual goals and desires are completely meaningless to him.

  • January 23, 2018 at 5:19 pm

    An opportunity for personal growth or as training is the most ignorant mentality that ever has been created. Let’s excuse mistreatment and the stolen time of one’s potential good memories, play God with their human response that they will say “thank you” for the growth of lost or stolen time and residual anxiety, and truly believe there will be a win win outcome.

    Christ, people, even therapists, have alot to learn in human behavior. Does it really take a potential lawsuit to teach right back that there is never personal growth or training when a person never gave permission nor invited such experiences and covert indirect torment into his or her life? Do people really get the fundamental basic right to a person and when it all comes to a final end, are people truly going to play God and predict there will truly be a learning foundation of training that is graced with gratitude? Betrayal and lies while playing with pre meditated plans of covert one sided manipulation with narcissists, no matter what the “lesson.” never produces either personal growth nor training, it just causes more and more bitterness until the real truth is exposed at the end. There is always an ending to some lesson, experience, or in relationships, and this is rarely thought about……….

  • June 29, 2018 at 9:55 pm

    Wow, this is so refreshing to learn, as I am currently involved with someone with a lot of these narcissistic traits! It’s refreshing because I have been grappling with his negative behaviors for some years now and just really wondering what the hell to do! I am a very positive, upbeat and independent person so thank goodness that I do have some love and respect for myself and I’m spiritually grounded, as this dude would have destroyed me a long time ago! But I often wonder why I continue to stay, yes I love him, but I love me more; so why have I put up with this for so long? I ask myself all the time. I’m seeing a therapist and starting to learn more about these behaviors, so hopefully I will be able to figure out why I continue to allow this man to try and break my spirit. I think that I am getting close to a breaking point because I am to the point where I just don’t care and I don’t allow him to get under my skin as much; but I know that it is unhealthy for me and I darn sure deserve much better treatment and respect from my mate! I like this blog and hope that through prayer, this blog and my therapist sessions, that I will be able to find solace and strength to stand up to him and if need be remove him from my life if his emotional abuse does not stop.


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