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Crime

Narcissists Caught In Wrongdoing Invoke God and Blame Demons

Inspiration strikes at the oddest times. This article was inspired by two seemingly unrelated events.

The first event was a, how shall I put it, quintessentially textbook aggresively in-your-face narcissistic reality TV "star" being indicted by a grand jury on multiple charges including tax evasion, bank fraud, wire fraud, conspiracy, etc (and it's not the first time!) and invoking God, God, God on Twitter after he pleaded "Not Guilty."

The second event was me fleeing the bedroom when my husband was watching an exorcism on The Vatican Files.

Those two events reminded me of something I've long noticed: when a narcissist is in trouble, 1) they'll invoke God and 2) they'll blame demons...and probably you!



General

4 Truths for ACONS (Adult Children of Narcissists)

When Michael and I were house hunting in 2013, I took it as a sign that we belonged in this cottage when the bathroom mirror was exactly the same one in my grandmother's house. But conspicuous by their absence are Post-It notes with pithy affirmations stuck to our mirror (pictured before I got my OCD and Windex on it above). I'm not keen on affirmations personally.

Perhaps that's a reaction to all the pithy (and perfectly useless) clichés my narcissists used to brainwash and sedate me when I was unhappy. So this article is not about more lovely affirmations which give you a boost today but leave your Bullshit Meter pegged tomorrow! No, these are four truths I keep coming back to again and again. Truths you can take to the bank and build your life upon.



Empathetic

Forgiveness: It’s NOT What You Think!

Growing up, on our Living Room wall hung an interior decorating picture. It was based on Corinthians 13, the Loooooove Chapter. Your mother probably had one too. There were nine boxes and inside each box was a calligraphy excerpt from Corinthians 13: "Love is patient. Love is kind..."

One of the boxes said, "Love forgives all things." From what I saw at home, that meant that love had to tolerate abuse and come up smiling, forgiving, coming back to be raged at again and again, hoping things would change when they never did. And that's when I began having grave doubts.



C-PTSD

Falling Into “Like”: A Love Story

According to Vocabulary.com, the phrase "falling in love" has been around since the 1500's. Everytime you turn around, someone is falling into or out of love. Seems like songs are about just one thing: love, love, love, love, love, love.

Still no one can define love. Shakespeare took a pretty good stab at it. But even our most silver-tongued poets have tried...and failed.



Abusive Family

Living A Lie: The False Identity All Scapegoats (and some step-parents) Must Bear

"You should write a book," Michael sometimes tells me.

"I don't wanna write a book," says I. "You know I have the attention span of a gnat."

"But you'd be good at it."

"Okay, okay. I'll write a book about you. I'll write about your life for your children so they really know their father. You've had enough adventures for five lifetimes. I swear your Guardian Angels stagger into the Break Room after their shift, grab a cup of coffee, collapse in a chair and tell the next shift of angels, 'Heads up, boys! He's in rare form today. You won't believe what I saved him from this time'!"

Michael just laughs. "Don't bother," he says, "my kids won't believe a word."



General

Bye, Bye Possessions Tainted with Bad Memories!

Bad Gift Giving: One of the hallmarks of narcissists! They may give gifts but it's usually something incredibly cheap or something they like or what they think we should like because they like it. The most brilliant explanation of it came in an episode of Frasier. I wrote all about it in Narcissists and Gift Giving.

In this set of two articles (click here for Part 1), we're talking about purging our lives of physical possessions that are tainted with narcissistic abuse, stuff that reeks of bad memories. One of the most emotionally-charged and hated items I've sold was the big topaz ring (pictured above) that my parents gave me on my High School Graduation Day.

Why did I hate it so much? Well, first you need to read Part 1 of this article. Then what's written below will make much more sense!