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with Heather Gilmore, MSW, LLMSW, BCBA

Be Okay With Now OR Work Harder For The Future? How About Both!

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Where do you want your life to be? How do you know when you get to where you are going?

We need to find the balance between working toward improving our lives and the wellness of our families while also being content with our current selves and our current situation.

It’s a difficult thing to distinguish between feeling at peace within yourself and in your life while also being goal-oriented and striving for better.

One way to be happy with where you are is to practice mindfulness and being present in the moment. Even though most of us have things we are working towards like helping our kids get better grades or losing a few pounds or making more money or getting the dishes done or whatever it is, we can still be at peace with ourselves and our current lives.

With that said, it is still okay to be goal-oriented. Having goals helps us to stay positive about life to have something to live for. When you have hopes and dreams, with the right perspective and attitude, this can bring even more positivity to your life.

When you set goals and you are thinking about where you want to be, try to think about the following things:

  • How much money do you absolutely need to support your family?
  • How much extra money would be nice to have as disposable (do-whatever-you-want-with) income? (Most of us would like an endless supply of money, but think realistically, what would be a reasonable number.)
  • How much time do you want to have available to simply spend time with your kids and your family?
  • How much time do you want to be able to spend on your own leisure activities? (You have to pick a number, don’t discount the importance of giving yourself time. You give time to everyone else. You deserve time, too.)
  • What does a well-maintained home look like to you (if this is important to you) and what does that require of yourself and your family members?
  • Thinking about the last three question, you then can ask yourself, how much time are you willing to invest in working for pay? Of course, we all probably want to work as little as possible and make the most money possible, but that’s not realistic. For some of us, a full-time 40 hour a week job is what we need to do to maintain our finances. For others, we can find ways to increase the financial value of our time and increase our income in other ways, such as creating and selling products or services.

The above questions are just some questions you might ask yourself in order for you to start thinking about what your goals truly are. It is important to clarify your goals so that you know where you are going and you can come up with more efficient ways of getting there.

Don’t compare yourself to anyone else. Be okay with who you are, your own skill set, and your own family. It’s really important not to let society tell you or persuade you to think you should have certain goals. Instead, make your own goals and live your own life and be happy and content along the way.

Be Okay With Now OR Work Harder For The Future? How About Both!


Heather Gilmore

My name is Heather Gilmore. I am so happy to be able to have a space to share helpful insights and resources to other moms out there. Being a parent is hard work and I hope to be able to give you tips and strategies to make it at least a little bit easier and more enjoyable. We love our kids but any mom knows that they can also be exhausting and overwhelming at times, as well. I have a master's degree in social work. I work as a children's therapist. I am also a Board Certified Behavior Analyst and work with children with autism spectrum disorder. Additionally, I am a freelance writer specializing in topics related to children and families. I have my own company called Hope Family Resources which provides resources in person and online to help families find greater hope, health, and happiness. See my site and learn more about me at: www.hopefamilyresources.com or email me at heather@hopefamilyresources.com. I have also published books on Amazon. Search for "Discpline and Parenting Strategies for Kids with ADHD," "Have Peace: How to Have Peace in Your Busy, Chaotic Life," and "Sibling Rivalry: How to Deal with Sibling Rivalry so You Won't Have to Anymore,"


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APA Reference
Gilmore, H. (2016). Be Okay With Now OR Work Harder For The Future? How About Both!. Psych Central. Retrieved on August 24, 2019, from https://blogs.psychcentral.com/mommy-matters/2016/08/be-okay-with-now-or-work-harder-for-the-future-how-about-both/

 

Last updated: 24 Aug 2016
Statement of review: Psych Central does not review the content that appears in our blog network (blogs.psychcentral.com) prior to publication. All opinions expressed herein are exclusively those of the author alone, and do not reflect the views of the editorial staff or management of Psych Central. Published on PsychCentral.com. All rights reserved.