7 thoughts on “The Benefits of Being Raised in a Stepfamily

  • October 21, 2015 at 12:30 pm

    I needed this more than I could ever express today. Thank you

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    • October 23, 2015 at 2:21 pm

      I’m so happy to hear that you’ve been able to find some comfort. It can be very difficult at times to be a member of a stepfamily, no matter what role you play. Hang on to the good aspects and try to remember that no matter how hard the current situation is, things can and usually do, get better.

      Reply
  • October 22, 2015 at 3:30 pm

    Fantastic blog! I love the focus on the positives gained from blended families. As a stepmom, I know from experience that it is not always easy. I foolishly thought being a stepmom would be easy as I work with kids and kids love me. What I didn’t think about is that these two kids were coming from a place of grief and were not initially open to a stepmom. I was further proof that their parents were not getting back together. But, over time, we have all grown to love each other and they now see some benefits. More grandparents, more cousins. Two Christmases is one awesome benefit! Extra birthday gifts is another plus. The one important gift I hope they will walk away with as grown-ups is seeing an example of a healthy relationship between their dad and me. 🙂

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    • October 23, 2015 at 2:31 pm

      Thank you! It’s so easy to go into a stepparent role thinking that everything will go smoothly only to get blindsided when the conflict begins. I truly think that being a stepparent, and especially a stepmom, isn’t a role that can be understood until you expirience it yourself. By taking the time to relate with your stepkids and empathize with their situation, you are doing them a world of good. Even if they don’t see it yet, your positive role in their life will help to shape them as adults!

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      • July 12, 2017 at 10:31 pm

        Hi Amy! It’s so weird, but I didn’t see your response to me from almost two years ago until today. But the timing is perfect. Just last year, both of my stepkids wrote in birthday cards to me how much they appreciate me and how they now know how important I’ve been in their lives. My stepson, who is 21, wrote that he admits he was skeptical of me at first but realizes how foolish he was to doubt me. 🙂 You gotta love his honesty! Lol Anyway, I appreciate you saying they will realize how lucky they are when they’re older. I feel blessed that their appreciation for me has happened already. The challenges I had in the beginning are what prompted me to write a book for stepmoms. I interviewed several stepmoms to hear their experiences and I wrote about my own experiences. The book has been picked up by a small publishing house, but it’s taking forever to get released. I’ll keep you posted on the release as it may be a good resource for your followers. We need all the support and comfort we can get as stepmoms. 🙂 Thank you again for your reassuring comments!

        Reply
  • July 11, 2017 at 4:51 pm

    Hi! I appreciate the positive outlook on this article. Almost everything I read is a little bit doomsday-ish for the stepfamily situation. I’m 6 months in and am appalled, actually, at how hard it’s been. Do you think the long term benefits are real? I’m so stuck in the struggle right now, it’s hard to imagine. I feel bad for my son who was an only child and is now struggling to adjust to 2 siblings and a stepparent (my son is nearly 13, which is the worst age for this, according to what I read). I’m torn between feeling like it will pay off and feeling like it will ruin his life!

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    • July 14, 2017 at 12:03 am

      I hear you! I had no idea being a stepmom would be so difficult. I work with kids. Kids like me. But these two? Not so much! It took us years to develop a close relationship. And my two stepkids were not teens. They were nine and five when I met them. Supposedly easier ages. Lol

      Six months is not long enough to determine whether your situation will become positive. You need to give it more time. You and your son have stepped into a whole new world. And so have your husband and his kids. Now you all are trying to blend into a new type of family. Your own type of family. It’s a process, figuring this all out.

      The thing I had to realize is that I was coming into a place of grief. And I was further proof their parents were never getting back together. But once they settled into their new reality, we made it work.

      I am of the mind that everything happens for a reason. We may not always know the reason, but there is a reason. I don’t believe your son’s life will be ruined because you married the man you love. 🙂

      The most important thing is for you and your husband to be strong and committed to each other and your family. I remember hearing, “If you’re good and okay, your kids will be good and okay.” Or something like that… :/ The idea is that your marriage needs to come first, then your kids. You are better for them if you two are strong as a couple.

      I hope this helps in some small way.

      I wish you happiness!

      Shawn

      Reply
 

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