Years ago when I was doing my post doctorate residency I saw a flyer for a depression group. It said “Fight Your Depression: Join Today.” In that moment, and even now, I thought that statement couldn’t be more wrong especially when the aim with overcoming depressive mood or thoughts is to come to peace, especially with oneself. Going to war with ourselves only increases our distress because as the saying goes, “what we resist, persists.”
Our conditioning can be so severe that even the thought of facing our uncomfortable feelings physically and/or emotionally leads to the automatic negative thought “I can’t do this.” Depending on your mood, that thought will seem more or less believable. In other words, a thought is not a fact but rather a product of your mood or feeling in that moment.
However, if we are able to slowly face our fears, and understand and accept this part of ourselves that feels insecure and in pain, we can begin to change our relationship to our feelings of hurt. The moment we notice we’re at war with our difficult emotions is the moment when we’re sitting in the space between stimulus and response. The choice, possibility, and freedom we experience in that space is what I call The Now Effect.