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35 Comments to
Refusing to Forgive: 9 Steps to Break Free

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  1. i like the comment one above me. Thank you.
    I always like the definition for forgiveness, ceasing to feel resentment. If I am resentful I haven’t forgiven like I thought I did and it constitutes nursing a grudge and keeping account of the injury which is destructive and unhealthy for me. So I go back and forgive and forget and I point out 5 good things I like about the individual for every 1 thing that hurt me. This seems to give me a more balanced view of the person. That way I am not blinded to their goods by their glaring faults. Each of the 4 temperaments have strengths and weaknesses. You will never meet a perfect person. The Bible states to forgive 77 x 7. Plus the Creator forgives us countless errors daily and expects we do the same for others who stomp their hooves on our face–likely not deliberately. Again you are the most benefitted by letting go of the anger. What is it: unforgiveness is like drinking poison and waiting for the other to die? Guess who dies? you do.–paralyzes your will to live and sucks your power and chronically fatigues.
    Another thought was comparing a holding onto a grievance grudge likened to holding a glass of water. After about 5 minutes dont you want to put the glass down? Some people hold that glass in the air for 30years. That has got to be tiring!!! Put the dang grudge down and use your hand for things that benefit you and bring you health.

  2. I have held onto anger and resentment in the past when I’ve been badly treated. I don’t tend to do this any more. Eventually I realised that the only person I was hurting by jealously guarding that anger, was myself.

    Nowadays, after I’ve cooled off after a perceived injustice or whatever, I don’t seem to harbour resentment towards that person. I THINK this means I have learned to forgive… but I do sometimes wonder if I’m just in denial!

  3. i totally agree with susan. when u think of forgiving someone, u think about them and all that they did to you all over again. being angry with someone is not wrong. its just that dont let it occupy you. let the thoughts come, make yourself busy in something u enjoy doing. rather than sitting and thinking about forgiving or not forgiving them, make yourself busy and try not to think about them even if u r thinking about forgiving or forgetting them….
    mind is very smart, the more u want to forget someone or forgive someone, the more deeply u think about them. so give your minds and brains something else to do rather than that.
    i know it is difficult to do it when the person is someone whom u have to see everyday or hear everyday but at least when u not near them, dont intentionally bring them near to u by continuously thinking…

  4. It’s really a great and useful piece of information. I am glad that you shared this useful info with us. Please stay us informed like this. Thanks for sharing.

  5. Over a decade ago, a close friend of my mine tried to rape me. I haven’t forgiven him. I’m remember what happened in detail, I know what he was going through at the time, I broke contact with him afterwards. He contacted me last year to apologize and to tell me he found god and turned over a new leaf and wanted to know if I’d forgiven him. I was surprised when he contacted me… I thought, seriously? I deleted his message. And I’m ok with it.
    I just got divorced and am again in a situation in which I am supposed to forgive. I don’t think I will. And I’m ok with it. Right now I still get the chest tightening etc, but it’ll go away eventually.
    I guess I just don’t believe in it. I think some acts should go unforgiven.

  6. This is a very powerful post I like it a lot I need to do this

Comments: 1 2 3


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