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Love is Auto-telic, Hate is Auto-exaleiphic

Love and HateWhen we love, we love the fact that we love.

We love to love.

Love is auto-telic* (self-reinforcing).

When we hate, we hate the fact that we hate.

We hate to hate.

Hate is auto-exaleiphic** (self-limiting).

Notice this distinction in yourself.***

* Auto-Telic/autotelic: auto is Greek for “self” and “telos” is Greek for “goal” = self-reinforcing, self-driven, a goal in and of itself

** Auto-Exaleiphic/autoexaleiphic: auto  is Greek for “self” and “exaleipho” is Greek for “wipe out, obliterate” = self-limiting (a term that the author of this blogpost coined for the purpose of this blogpost only).

***A caveat: initially we might not mind that we hate, we might hate righteously, with or without awareness, this is a period/phase of anger, when hate is really just fear; but eventually as the limbic/affective side of hate/fear fades away, hate becomes a kind of cognitive residue.  Hate turns on itself.  In sum, inevitably, hate spoils itself.

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Love is Auto-telic, Hate is Auto-exaleiphic


Pavel G. Somov, Ph.D.

Pavel Somov, Ph.D. is a licensed psychologist in private practice and the author of 7 mindfulness-based self-help books. Several of his books have been translated into Chinese, Dutch & Portuguese. Somov is on the Advisory Board for the Mindfulness Project (London, UK). Somov has conducted numerous workshops on mindfulness-related topics and appeared on a number of radio programs. Somov's book website is www.pavelsomov.com and his practice website is www.drsomov.com

Marla Somova, Ph.D. is a licensed psychologist in private practice in Pittsburgh, PA. She is the co-author of "Smoke Free Smoke Break" (2011).


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APA Reference
Somov, P. (2014). Love is Auto-telic, Hate is Auto-exaleiphic. Psych Central. Retrieved on August 20, 2019, from https://blogs.psychcentral.com/mindful-living/2014/06/love-is-auto-telic-hate-is-auto-exaleiphic/

 

Last updated: 22 Jun 2014
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