Adieu For Now

After two years of blogging  I have decided to take a break from it for now. I'd like to thank all readers for their thoughts and comments and hope to be back some time in the future when I have something new and exciting...


The Upside Of Loss

Most of us resist loss at all cost. We hold on to relationships that may have run its course. We hold on to our ego drives and get rigid about our little neuroses, even when there is no real purpose other than defending ourselves. We resist accepting that certain behaviors are maladaptive just because we don't want to admit that we are wrong.

Many addictions are nothing but a cover up to face losses that...


Fed Up With Social Media?


You are not alone. Users of sites like Facebook, Twitter and Friendster are leaving their digital social fixes behind in throes and are trying to make an effort to return to the real world. Why?

Many people are simply done with the daily pressure to put out digitally. They feel overwhelmed by the constant stream of good news, sent out by well meaning friends and relatives, and can't help but feel bad...


Getting Rid Of Ego

Many spiritual traditions advocate to become selfless. We are not supposed to think selfishly, be reckless, ungrateful but instead love thy neighbor like yourself.

So many of us engage in self defeating behaviors. We put our own interests last. We don't stand up for ourselves when someone wrongs us. Sometimes we allow others to be...


The Deeper Meaning Of Compassion

Compassion is a word that can feel a bit overused these days. Everyone seems to remind us to be compassionate with ourselves and others. But there is immense worth to the concept and the deeper meaning behind it.

I've been reading a classic in the great variety of Buddhist books, Chogyam Trungpa's "Spiritual Materialism". Trungpa was one of the first Tibetan lamas to bring the dharma to the West, and his insights are of a timeless validity.



Religion and Romance


Love and interconnectedness are two of the topics Alain de Botton is exploring in his book "Religion for Atheists". In it, he discusses that atheists too can make use of the rituals and the struggle with the human condition, a role that is often assigned to religious organizations.

In this context, he explores the role of romance in modern day life:

"In the lonely canyons of the modern city,...


The Foundation Of A Good Relationship


There are many theories about what makes a good and lasting relationship. In our present age, where romance seems to dominate the way we look at a long term partnership, many criteria have been called absolutely necessary for the survival of romance.

Some people believe that our partners have to continue to inspire us when things get boring and we crave novelty and excitement.

Others talk about the absence of...


Meditation and Running

My husband has been training for the marathon, and I gladly sent him off into the woods, sitting down in front of my computer instead. After three months of watching, my body started to tell me, "you've got to move".

I never liked running. It seemed monotonous, and devoid of excitement. I rather played volleyball or badminton instead. Running, I used to think, is boring.

That was twenty years ago. Now my body isn't so fast anymore. I...


When Marriage Does Work

Since the last post focused on a more somber aspect of marriage, I want to balance it out today and shine a light on the good times between two people.

I usually don't like hit lists, for example "5 Ways to Have Better Sex" and the likes. It's very...


Marriage As A Process Of Disillusionment

When we first enter an intimate relationship we are hoping to gain something from it: that our partner will bring out the best in us, that our past disappointments will be soothed or healed. That romance will last.

We begin the relationship with an idealized view of the other. So by design, getting deeper into a relationship will always involve the process of disillusionment.

Disillusionment is a form of loss. We've lost...