Valentine's Day Love Dating

Valentines Day is upon us. And there are many expectations flying through the air.  You may be in a relationship, you may not, regardless, Valentine’s Day is an opportunity to reflect upon love.

What does it mean to be loved? What does it feel like? How do you know when you’re in love? What about loving yourself? Have you ever considered how you treat yourself and how you show yourself love?

Valentine’s Day is a great time to make a date, whether it be with yourself, your partner, your spouse, or your friend(s). It’s your choice to decide what makes you feel most loved.

What is your ideal date? You may choose to chill at home, go to a museum, finish an art project, or  have a romantic weekend getaway. It’s up to you to decide.

Whether it’s just for Valentine’s Day or dating in general, our attitude and perception about how we use our time can make life enjoyable or dreadful.

Taking the time to make a date gets us out of our comfort zone. It is thrilling to meet new people and experience novel restaurants, sights, and ideas. It is also a wonderful, exploratory way to get to know yourself and your interests, insights, and hobbies.

Making a can also be discouraging at times.  Sometimes it seems like there are more duds than studs. Regardless, there is always an opportunity to learn something new even if it is deciding you don’t like that. With practice and these five tips in mind, your dating life may be short-lived. Commitment can be right around the corner.

Dating Tip 1:

Ladies and gentleman, don’t look for others to ask what you want.  Most people rarely do. Learn to speak up.  Assertive communication is essential. Say want you want and mean what you say. Don’t wait until your patience runs thin and you explode. Make a stance and say, “Hey, I’m feeling cooped-up and need some fresh air; let’s go for a hike, couples massage or walk on some hip street.” Whatever you want, say it loud and clear. It’s not going to happen unless you speak up!

Dating Tip 2:

Does your date continually talk without even taking a breath for air? Do you feel like you are in a monologue? You are right. They are in it for them self. You don’t matter in their mind. You may feel invisible, like your don’t matter, and rightly so. Listen to that ill feeling.  It’s a sign something is wrong.

There is no room for connection with someone who is talking on and on about themselves, their friends or whatever else you are NOT involved in. They are not emotionally available. Practice self-love and break free. If you don’t you will lose all your self-esteem and confidence. There is no room for you when you are dealing with someone so consumed with them.

Dating Tip 3:

Test your assertive skills. If he is talking in a monologue; say something. Try, “I think it’s great you are so excited about the opportunities you’ve had to see so many things, but I’m feeling a little neglected and not part of the conversation. It makes it hard to connect when you are talking so fast. There’s no room for me to interject. Do you think you could slow down? I’d like to have a conversation so we can get to know each other?” Test to see how he responds. Did they listen and acknowledge they went off on a tangent? If NOT, time to go!

Dating Tip 4:

Does your date continually talk about ex’s and what they did wrong? That’s a sign they are living in the past, not able to let go, and not take responsibility for their part in the relationship.

A relationship involves two people and each person always plays a role. There is never just one person to blame. If you are being blamed or doing the blaming something is wrong. Stop the blame game and start being responsible. If you are taking the time to reflect, acknowledge your wrongdoings – even apologize, and if they are not, get out—FAST!

Dating Tip 5:

Do they listen and really hear you? How do you know? If you reveal something about yourself and the subject is quickly reverting back to them; THEY ARE NOT LISTENING! If you express your thoughts and they bash them or discourage you then, THEY ARE ABUSIVE. If you say something about yourself and it is used against you later; THEY ARE NOT TRUSTWORTHY.

Dating is the perfect opportunity to learn about yourself, your triggers, and how you handle them. There is plenty of time to practice and improve skills that are challenging. Get out there and keep trying. The more you date, the greater the chance you will find the love of your life.