Have you ever been in a relationship where you know it’s not healthy yet some how you just can ‘t leave? Something in your dynamics draws you in. You can’t pinpoint what it is yet you keep searching. Perhaps you’ve never experienced a healthy relationship to even know what is healthy or unhealthy.
Here are five qualities that make a relationship a keeper. Take tuned the other five characteristics will follow soon.
- You spend quality time together
Time together is vital. Being in the same room text messaging, surfing the web, or watching television does not count. Taking time each day spending quality time either touching, talking and listening, or creating novel and fun memories brings couples closer.
According to Helen Fischer, novelty releases dopamine, the euphoric, reward neurotransmitter, fun infuses positive energy and newness breeds strong feelings of romantic love.
- You are affectionate
Touching such as holding hands, cuddling, walking arm in arm are all ways to increase oxytocin levels in the brain. Oxytocin is the bonding hormone that new mothers secrete when bonding with their newborn. Couples also emit oxytocin that strengthens their bond when they affectionately touch each other.
- You have great sex
Sex is great for the body, the mind, the soul, and the relationship. Sex that is agreeable, exploratory, sensual, and orgasmic releases dopamine and oxytocin. Couples receive a double dose of deep connection and starry-eyed love.
- You are able to talk and listen to feelings
Talking about feelings about yourself and sharing your emotions brings couples closer. An example is, “When I ask you to clean the dishes in the sink, you say you will but you don’t hurts because it makes me feel like I don’t matter. It triggers the same feeling when I was little and I would ask my Mom if I could take dance lessons, she said “Yes” but it never happened. I was left feeling disappointed, let down, and hurt.
Happy couples are able to share their experiences of joy, anger, and hurt and listen to their partners’ perspective with an open heart and an open mind.
- You share empathy
Happy couples understand, get a real sense of what the other is feeling and attune to each other. It is important to imagine how the other person feels so that you can make minor adjustments to your behavior because you respect and love your partner.
Take time for a relationship review. Where do you have strengths? Where on the list are you weak? If more weaknesses reside than strengths you may need the help of a professional.