In the previous article, ten qualities of a healthy relationship, we talked about the first five habits couples exhibit. Today we will discuss the remaining aspects in this list.  This list is not exhaustive but certainly paints a realistic picture of what a healthy relationship may look and feel like.

  1. You are committed to the relationship

Commitment means you value the relationship and make it priority. While you value each other’s individuality, you commit to the relationship first, and commit to zero negativity. Certainly conflict will arise but you are confident and dedicated to calmly resolving whatever arises quickly and then moving on.

  1. You respect and accept each other

You both accept and respect your differences and similarities. Neither is trying to fix or change the other. You are thoughtful not to criticize, blame, defend, demand, or have angry outbursts.   Content couples have simple rules and boundaries of respect and acceptance of differences.

  1. You take personal responsibility

The dynamics of a relationship are always 50/50. Healthy couples take responsibility for their role. Decisions are made with equal power. You recognize and accept each other’s strengths and weaknesses.

For example, the CPA is responsible for the couple’s finances while the technical security specialist is responsible for the upkeep of all electronic devices.

  1. You focus on the positive

Use your brain to your advantage. Our brains are built for deception. Use mindfulness and gratitude exercises to train your brain to focus on the positive and shift your attention to love and attraction.

For instance, your loved one leaves their morning breakfast dishes in the sink, instead of focusing on the negative, appreciate the dinner they prepared for you.

  1. You are dedication to being together

Dedication is having a feeling of strong support and loyalty to the relationship. You are dedicated to the process and journey together. You acknowledge conflict is normal; you talk about it, resolve it, and then let it go. You set guidelines and commit to those rules.

Summary

Healthy couples know what it feels like and looks like to be in a strong relationship.  When we grow-up in a dysfunctional home, our role models don’t portray an accurate picture.  If you were one of the many whose childhood was not safe and secure,  it’s never too late to learn how to have a healthy, happy relationship.

It begins by listening to your self; your thoughts, feelings, and attuning to your body responses.  When you spend time together, it is quality time?  How do you feel about yourself and the relationship when you are together? Are you affectionate and loving together each other?  How is your sex life?  Do you both openly and honestly share your inner world and open-heartedly and open-mindedly listen to your partner?

Are you commited to the relationship?  Are you self-aware and take personal responsibility for your happiness and how you treat your partner?  Do you focus on the positive more than the negative?  When conflict arises, are you able to resolve the issue head-on and then let it go?  Do you set boundaries and stay true to them? And lastly do you have fun and laugh together?

Fix it!

Take time for a relationship review. Journal and answer some or all the questions raised.  Where do you have strengths? Where on the list are you weak? If more weaknesses reside than strengths you may need the help of a professional.

Please comment and share your experiences.

April Wright, M.A., LMFT

Mind/Body/Spiritual Coach

Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist MFC96155

www.aprilwrighttherapy.com

april@aprilwrighttherapy.com