When I was hospitalized for depression in February, just over 9 months ago, I had to move back in with my parents and leave my life of independence at the age of 25.
It took me 9 long months to gain the courage to put my room together. I was so anxious about organizing, cleaning, and most of all decorating my room because that somehow meant my new living situation was permanent.
I had a lot of anxiety about this. I have always compared myself to other people. Whether it’s friends, family members, classmates, or just other people in my age group in general, I have always compared my own success to the success of others.
I’m 25. I don’t want to live at home forever. Moving back home after already being independent for several years, was a real blow to my self-esteem.
The truth is that everyone blossoms in their own time, in their own way. Once my depression began to lift, my anxiety started to ease as well.
Once I stopped caring so much about what other people think, and about the success level of other people, I was able to start living my life my own way.
It doesn’t really matter where other people are in life. They are not going through the same things you are. I needed to realize that I have struggled with different things than my friends, and they have had their own struggles as well. I have lived with epilepsy, bipolar disorder and anxiety my entire life, and only now am I beginning to heal.
I will find my way. There is no need to rush, and why not start by making my own space in my parents’ house? It doesn’t have to be permanent. It just has to be my own.