2 thoughts on “The Challenges of Trying to Change Who You Are

  • January 17, 2018 at 3:23 am

    Hey Shannon,
    I swear sometimes I think we must be distant cousins or something, lol!
    When I was a kid, I think my mom and dad were generally content with who I was in my earliest years. After they divorced and shortly after moving to Maine with my mom and new stepfather when I was 7, things were different. My mom seemed to accept me for who I was but stepfather certainly didn’t!
    I liked to read and write, he’d complain if I spent too much time in my room reading as I got older. I didn’t like or do well in math, science or gym and that wasn’t ok with him. Nor did it make me popular in school. Everyone I knew seemed to like gym, trying out for sports or cheerleading etc. I was awkward and clumsy even with the recreational “sporty” type of activities I tried with friends such as ice skating, roller skating and fishing.
    Weight gain going into adolescence combined with needing glasses made a NORMALLY trying time even more so!
    I loved music, reading, writing poetry, babysitting, animals, going to the movies etc. I wasn’t considered popular and at times, was teased but in general, I did okay given the abuse I was dealing with at home by my stepfather.
    I DO wish I hadn’t had the abuse and the weight issue to deal with because I believe I’d have been less prone to depression and anxiety later, I’d not have ptsd, I’d have been much less passive and taken more risks in trying things, figuring out what I liked, perhaps gone to college directly out of high school, and probably taken a job out of state that I was offered when I was 19.

    • January 17, 2018 at 11:01 am

      Yup-I can relate to much of what you share…and what makes me happy is that here we both are, connecting on a level where just being who we are is deeply appreciated and respected. Sometimes I suspect we all have to go through the same basic process of becoming ourselves, and that includes those who have been unkind or abusive to us. We all (I think?) have the same basic lessons to learn about love, kindness, compassion and self acceptance.


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