4 thoughts on “Meeting the Big Empty Place Within

  • December 9, 2017 at 2:38 am

    WOW! I sure wish you lived close by so we could meet for coffee or lunch and chat because if I didn’t know better, I’d think I had written this post!
    I have felt that sense of emptiness off and on for years now. Sometimes I go through periods when it is more acute than others and can literally leave me feeling rather bereft and aching with a longing that says inside “I NEED someone…” I have always attributed that emptiness and needy feeling to having been sexually abused for so long as a child/teen and spending much time feeling like I had to take care of others rather than being taken care of.
    But it occurs to me now for the first time, “what if the emptiness and the neediness are two different things needing to be met in different ways? What if the neediness is coming from that long ago time and place when I WAS a little girl in need of protection, safety, comfort etc. And what if the emptiness is there more as the result of being so dissatisfied with my life over the past 10 or so years as an adult who is not currently working due to being disabled, no longer has many opportunities for socializing, wants to make more friends but suffers from anxiety, low self esteem and lack of confidence, hasn’t dated or had a significant other in 9 years etc.?
    You have DEFINITELY given me “food for thought!” I DO hope you too can fill what I have always called “the holes in your soul.”
    Lori

    Reply
    • December 9, 2017 at 4:34 pm

      Oh, that is lovely to hear, Lori – that you so resonate with the post that you feel you could have written it. I honestly believe there are certain universal themes that are like that….in a sense they get “written” through someone – anyone who is willing and has the time – which perhaps in this case was me. ๐Ÿ™‚ I particularly love how you are contemplating differences between emptiness and neediness….I didn’t really pick up on that at the time I was writing the post, but now that you mention it, what a fabulous, relevant question to ask! I have been starting to work on letting people help me lately…it is really a revelation to see how much fear that can bring up (and likely it will bring up blog posts too in time;).

      Reply
  • December 9, 2017 at 2:31 pm

    You are so, not alone. I love the way you have described the big empty space and had a relationship with it. I used to call it a hole in the gut that was begging to be filled with anything, give it something and it’s not satisfied. I too went with in and examined all that I didn’t like and took it out, the hole wanted peace and quiet and so did I. We are happy now. (this is the super short version of how I came to be me now). Thank you for sharing this, I know a number of people who would do well to read this.

    Reply
    • December 9, 2017 at 4:36 pm

      Hi Kim – I’m so happy to hear that this post resonated with you and perhaps may be relevant to others in your network as well. It has been so encouraging to receive messages about this post and really know I’m not the only one who has discovered one of these big empty spaces inside of her! I love that your hole wanted peace and quiet….what a lovely wish (although often difficult to fulfill in the times we are living in right now!). Thank you for taking the time to share in return….grateful.

      Reply
 

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