6 thoughts on “When Your Parents Get Older (and you still feel the same age)

  • November 8, 2017 at 4:50 am

    I enjoy reading your posts and often either learn something, gain a new perspective or find myself identifying in some way. This post however, is VERY relevant to me and I am glad to see it tackled on this site!
    In some ways, our situation is likely very different because even when still a child growing up in my family, I sometimes felt like I was put in a parental role LONG before I was ready. This was no doubt due in large part to the fact that my then stepfather was abusing me and also, I was doing a lot of taking care of my younger siblings.
    However, over the past year or so, I am really becoming more aware of my mom’s aging and how her needs are slowly intensifying. I know it is part of life –after all, she IS nearly 77 years old AND a lung cancer survivor. She turns to me a lot more now–calling me each day to chat, and in the process, asking my advice on anything from health issues, a problem a sibling is facing or even my thoughts on current world events.
    I noticed recently that stairs aren’t easy for her now and will soon likely be something she can no longer do on her own or maybe at all. Her walk has slowed and she seems vulnerable to me for the first time. It is so strange and at times unnerving and even sad for me to observe.
    She talks on occasion about how quickly it seems that the grandchildren are growing and how she wishes it would slow down and I find myself thinking that very same way but about her! “How can she be almost 77? Where did the time go and how do we navigate this upcoming new path where you become someone I look up to AND look out for?”
    It’s a whole new chapter–not necessarily bad but certainly DIFFERENT!
    I hope I am ready…

    Reply
    • November 8, 2017 at 10:42 am

      Ohhhh….I in turn resonate SO much with how you feel and the way you express it….so challenging to watch and also go through day by day, but I admit it is a bit sanity-saving to realize I am not the only one having these experiences!! Thank you for taking the time to share your own experiences with me here.❤️

      Reply
      • November 11, 2017 at 3:24 am

        Glad you were able to identify with what I wrote as well in some way. We have another thing in common and that is, we are both writers. However I haven’t done anything with my writing in ages! I have a few friends that tell me I should work on getting some of my stuff published or even write a book! I started on my memoir but that was several years ago and I didn’t continue beyond several pages. I admire your ability to keep writing even during the stressful times!

        Reply
      • November 11, 2017 at 12:39 pm

        Oh that is lovely! Writing is a healer for me….if I didn’t write when I am anxious or stressed I’d probably explode. Not pretty;)

        Reply
  • December 5, 2017 at 1:57 am

    l totally feel you.l still feel like am 21years old and my dad will take care of everything.Recently he was travelling out of the country and he was telling me where everything is in terms of his investments and it dawned on me he also realizes his time is running out.I hope he lives for longer l want to do so much for him.The thought of him not being there is devastating

    Reply
    • December 5, 2017 at 11:44 am

      Oh yes. Yes. We are definitely in a similar place in life. That is one solace to simply know these feelings are honorable and shared and there are so many of us trying to learn how to move through what feels so impossible! Thank you for sharing your journey here.

      Reply
 

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