4 thoughts on “A Possible Definition for “Normal”

  • April 8, 2016 at 2:25 pm

    Interesting – I’ve never thought about being ‘normal’ in that light before (ie. being on the food chain). It is something I have battled with my whole life, and as I’ve got older I’ve just decided to be me (even though at times I wish I was ‘normal’ if that makes sense). Trying to be what we’re not is so extremely stressful and can cause depression and anxiety, and I think it is no unnatural not to be who we essentially are.

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    • April 8, 2016 at 2:35 pm

      I never had either until I read it in Dr. Nagoski’s book! But given how many of us (like practically everyone) can relate to the concept of struggling to be (or not to be) “normal” – when I was little, my mom would always say she “didn’t want us to be like everybody else” and I remember that all I wanted was to be just that – to fit in – to feel comfortable (and mostly I spent my childhood feeling very UNcomfortable). So looking a possible genetic basis for why so many of us seem to confront the issue of “normal” at some point in our journey….it just really makes sense! And it also takes the pressure off – sort of like how I don’t really fret about why I have brown eyes. I got those ’cause of my DNA. So if I got a concern about “being normal” as well in the DNA package, so be it. Nothing to worry too much about…. 🙂

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  • April 12, 2016 at 1:26 pm

    This reminds me a lot of Brene Brown’s research on shame. She talks a lot about the feelings of shame evoked by not being “normal” or fitting in, and then she distinguishes between “belonging” (social acceptance for who we really are) and “fitting in.” For me it has been easy to question “normal” (what’s normal is not necessarily healthy or functional, etc.) but harder to let go of that need for validation even if I’ve dismissed the concept of “normal.” But reframing the quest for belonging is definitely helpful.

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    • April 12, 2016 at 1:29 pm

      I LOVE Brene Brown! Her work has been so supportive in my life too. ❤️

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