7 thoughts on “When is it Okay to Celebrate Yourself?

  • August 25, 2015 at 10:41 am

    Well thought out and well said, Shannon. Narcissism is often used as a term for basic “self-centered” — and almost all of us, like 98%, can be legitimately accused of that rather regularly. We are, of course, obsessed with our own lives, our own self — that is how we learn and grow, hopefully. BUT we are not self-focused at the expense of others, and we are not then, necessarily, lacking empathy for other people. you care a great deal about other people and are highly sensitive to their needs and feelings. Self-congratulations for a hard-won victory is perfectly fine, in spite of most of our upbringing that says “Never focus on yourself,” “Never call attention to yourself.” etc….and that is B.S. Accomplishing something that is very difficult, learning to achieve it, and then helping others to overcome their issues is one of the most magnificent things one can do with his or her life.

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    • August 25, 2015 at 2:36 pm

      Thank you, Laurie! You know your insights and feedback are very meaningful to me and I love what you share here about living a truly meaningful life by first overcoming challenges and then turning around to help others do the same.

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  • August 25, 2015 at 12:08 pm

    So I just read your other post and its comments, and I didn’t get the sense that you were being narcissistic or even cocky at all (and I’m usually quite sensitive to that). What I did see was you acknowledging how difficult a road you’ve travelled, how hard you’ve had to work, and – perhaps most importantly – all the other people who’ve helped you along the way (how many narcissists do that?).

    Being a person who struggles with self-esteem and has a tough time patting myself on the back even when it is truly deserved, I can maybe see where the commenter was coming from. It’s tough to watch others succeed where I fail. It’s painful to watch others celebrate their victories while I’m still licking the wounds from my latest defeat. But that doesn’t mean you don’t get to celebrate and be proud of your triumphs. My pain is my responsibility, and it’s not ok for me to try to take someone else’s happiness away because I’m miserable. Please don’t let some anonymous commenter do that to you.

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    • August 25, 2015 at 2:35 pm

      Thank you for your insights, Emily. And what you describe – there are still so very many areas where I feel the same way! I once read that the things we envy are the things we want most and to pay attention to those things and thank them for the extra insights they bring. I have kept this remembrance very close to me for many years now. Thanks again for your encouraging words!

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      • August 26, 2015 at 3:25 pm

        Dear Sharon,

        A person who takes time and effort to understand and appreciate another person’s point of view, as you have in your article, does not meet the qualifications for being a narcissist.

        I hope everyone you and everyone reading your article remembers that being called a name doesn’t drape you with that definition. Also, narcissists don’t spend a lot of time doubting themselves unless the

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      • August 26, 2015 at 3:27 pm

        Dear Sharon,

        A person who takes time and effort to understand and appreciate another person’s point of view, as you have in your article, does not meet the qualifications for being a narcissist.

        I hope everyone you and everyone reading your article remembers that being called a name doesn’t drape you with that definition. Also, narcissists don’t spend a lot of time doubting themselves unless they crash and flip from being all powerful wonderful to all helpless and worthless.

        Narcissists live a tough life, always on the brink of collapse with no inner support.

        You are nothing like a narcissist.

        warm regards,

        Joanna Poppink
        Los Angeles psychotherapist
        author: Healing Your Hungry Heart: recovering from your eating disorder

        Reply
      • August 26, 2015 at 3:59 pm

        Thank you Joanna! I really appreciate you taking the time to share your insights from a trusted professional’s perspective. I too hope others who are struggling similarly with names, as I am, will take heart from your words! (and for those who may be reading this who are struggling with disordered eating-based issues, I also encourage you to check out Joanna’s book “Healing Your Hungry Heart!”)

        Reply
 

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