2 thoughts on “When It Is Hard to Do Right By Yourself

  • February 20, 2014 at 11:25 am

    Hi Shannon!
    Love your post here, and I also agree that this can stem from a symptom of lack of self-respect or self-love. But also sometimes it is that we don’t feel worthy or deserving, so it serves as a type of self-sabotage behavior by not doing the thing we know we “should” be doing because it’s good for us, no matter what it is.

    You asked, “How do you deal with the feelings you have towards the not-so-lovable parts of yourself?” and for me, the answer is fully and completely LOVING those parts of me anyways. Loving every part of me that is weird and stubborn and quirky because that is what makes me who I am, and I love me. I love myself so much that I am willing to love myself wholly and completely, being grateful for all that I’ve been through, but also being gentle on myself when there are parts of me, like you’re describing, that I am not completely satisfied with yet, those parts of me that are underdeveloped. Yet it doesn’t come from a place of thinking those parts are unlovable.

    All parts of ourselves are worthy and deserving of our love and I truly believe that that is the only way to change them. By loving ourselves as “imperfectly perfect” and working on simply growing and learning and evolving along the journey, knowing that all is well and you are doing the best you can. Knowing that you are exactly where you are meant to be. Even when you “screw up.” Even when you do things that you don’t necessarily “want” to do, but you go on autopilot and act a certain way anyways. It’s loving every part of you and being gentle on yourself and loving every part of this journey.

    This is what loving myself fully means to me, and what I coach other women on how to do in their own recovery and in their lives. By loving every part of you and believing and having faith that these experiences in recovery are only lessons to teach us how to grow, change and expand ourselves into the next greater version of ourselves. Learning how to have radical self love for myself was one of the greatest lessons in my life but also one that has created the most change and transformation for me, even in the face of many difficulties, “flaws” and “imperfections” that are what make me, ME! Hehe I hope that all makes sense. Keep up the great work, Shannon, love your articles!!
    Lauren Cowne

    • February 20, 2014 at 1:38 pm

      Thanks for reading and sharing such great insights, Lauren – while the lessons you cite are challenging to fully imbibe, they are SO worth the effort and the result! Thanks for reading! ๐Ÿ™‚


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