A few posts ago, I shared what I am learning from author, intuitive teacher and mentor Sonia Choquette about how focusing my attention inevitably creates intention, whether I meant to do it or not.
In other words, my focus in many ways determines what I experience in life. If I send my attention routinely to thoughts of lack, scarcity, loneliness, illness, I shouldn’t be surprised when my life fills up with these experiences.
If, on the other hand, I send my attention to connection, friendship, love, laughter, I should expect more of these to show up on my doorstep and give a good, hearty knock.
As you might expect, as I’ve begun to work with my attention to be sure it is setting intentions I can get behind, so to speak, there have been a few mishaps and more than a few stressful moments.
Sonia says this is because being a person happens on multiple levels and it is important to get all the levels on board.
For instance, let’s just say I want to attract a new close friend into my life. So I start very intently focusing my attention on all the wonderful attributes of this new friend. This person is funny, warm, trustworthy, kind, reliable, and so forth.
But then, in my search for a real-life new friend who fits this particular bill, I inevitably encounter lots of folks who don’t fit the bill, whether a little or a lot. This can make me – and when I say “me” I basically mean my conscious mind – doubt whether the plan to make new friends is a sound one. It can also make me doubt whether I am someone who can make new friends.
Once these doubts start cropping up, my inner mental commentary can quickly get clogged up with thoughts like, “well maybe it isn’t such a good idea after all to try to meet new people.”
And here is where things can really get interesting.
Because Sonia says that there is someone listening to all this conscious mental chatter. That someone is our sub-conscious mind. The sub-conscious mind is pretty much the worst (or best, depending on how you view it) people-pleaser who ever lived. Like the family dog, it pretty much just wants you to love it and be happy. So whatever you say to it, it inevitably replies with “yes.”
If my conscious mind says (thinks), “I will never make new friends,” my sub-conscious mind replies, “yes.” If my conscious mind says, “I will make great new friends,” my sub-conscious mind replies, “yes.”
Sonia also talks about how things take more time in the physical, conscious realms than they do in our imagination. In a dream or fantasy, I can play out whole lifetimes in less time than it takes to watch the average movie. But in my waking, daily, conscious world, dreaming something, visualizing it, thinking positive thoughts about it, affirming its reality, and sticking to that process consistently from minute to minute, hour to hour and day to day must happen over a period of weeks, at minimum, and often months or even years before imagination and reality become one and the same.
It is a big challenge, I will tell you. It is so easy to meet one new person and have things not go well and think I’m just not cut out for choosing quality friends or trusting my own instincts. Right now one of my biggest learning curves is just to pick myself up, dust myself off, push all the appropriate reset buttons, refocus my mind and imagination on the ultimate goal, and just keep going.
What keeps me willing to do this, you might be wondering? I have had little successes with very small intentions that did turn into reality. Sonia encourages her students to start with very little things, like setting a focused thought and imagination process in place that leads to a nice parking spot right in front of the store. These small goals take far less time to show up in the conscious daily world and can serve as breadcrumbs of a sort to keep the mind believing that if the small stuff is possible, surely the big stuff is too.
Today’s Takeaway: Can you look at anything in your life – small or large or somewhere in between – that you really, really wanted that eventually did unfold? Do you look back and see any kind of supportive thoughts, dreams, actions you took to invite this desire into your life to stay? Were there moments when your mind began to derail you and think just the opposite, and if so how did you handle this?