In the wake of separating from my long-time love of 15 years earlier this year, I made the decision to plunge myself headlong into a new way of living.
In some kind of happy coincidence that I now suspect was less coincidence and more genuine divine assistance, I happened across a short video talk by intuitive author and teacher Sonia Choquette not long after my love and I parted ways.
Of course I was searching for a different author and a different talk when this occurred. But something about her voice, her manner, her particular way with words, encouraged me to stay put. A quick internet search unearthed some striking similarities between us in the realm of recent catastrophic relationship losses.
I then learned she had written not one but two memoirs about how she healed and rebuilt her life after unexpectedly separating from her husband of more than 30 years. I ordered both as well as some of her other books and commenced to reading.
That was approximately four months ago. I am still reading. I have found the lifeline I was seeking to haul myself up out of a painful rehashing of my broken past and into a still hopeful, still chock-full of potential present and future.
I have found – in a word – intuition.
Sonia says that where our attention is focused is what we will create next in our life, whether we want to or not. This is a very challenging teaching!
Reason being, my attention has become accustomed to taking its guidance not from my inner intuition but from my inner fight-or-flight survival instinct – the same one that can’t tell the difference between a new friend and a potential saber-toothed tiger.
Suffice it to say, this has created a rather unilateral inner focus on possible emerging catastrophes, whether financial, romantic, familial, health-wise or something else.
So I have had my work cut out for me in attempting to shift my inner attention away from all that might be about to go wrong to all that may just be about to go right.
Sonia says that making this shift makes all the difference, and even with the little itty bitty attention-intuition experiments I have managed to conduct to date, I have come to believe her. If there is a magic sauce, a secret recipe, a method to turn lumps of coal into pure gold, I do honestly believe my own focused attention may just be it.
Here is how this works in my world as best I can describe it (I am really, really, really not good at this yet – I’m just sharing it because I realize that first you have to be awful at something before you can get good at it, and on the off chance you’ve been looking for something to hang on to for dear life like I have, perhaps you’d like to join me in being awful at attention-intuition together!).
Let’s say I wake up in the morning and my mind goes to its usual place – my bank balance. Predictably, it gets worried. This wakes the rest of me up so we can all worry together. I head online to my bank app to check – sure enough, there appears to be good reason to worry.
As the worry builds, I start looking about for how to stop it. My eyes fall on the stack of Sonia’s books conveniently positioned right next to my phone charging cable by my bed. I remember – “Oh yes! Attention! Intuition!”
So I begin shifting my attention away from what I am afraid is happening – that cash outflow is exceeding cash inflow yet again this month – and towards what I want to have happen – that cash inflow is quite sufficient to cover this month’s rent and anything else I truly need.
Not surprisingly, this shift in my attention makes me feel better right away.
The more I read, the more I learn that this is because my mind really can’t tell the difference between one version of “reality” and another. When I focus my attention on scarcity, it believes that scarcity is what is real. When I focus my attention on sufficiency, it believes that sufficiency is what is real.
In other words, my mind is apparently pretty gullible. So I have to tell it what is real by how I use my attention.
Once my attention is flowing in the right direction, the next step is actually easier, which is to set an intention around what I am focusing on.
For instance, I can then say – or write down – “I intend to earn enough this month to pay for everything I need.” If I am feeling bold, I might say or write “I intend to earn enough to pay for all my necessities and some fun too!”
This then gives my wandering mind a compelling thought to hold on to. My mind very much likes the idea of having plenty of cash in the bank for stuff I need and stuff it wants. So it buddies up to this thought and starts thinking it a lot, which makes my emotional self and my heart very happy, because instead of worrying we are (at least virtually) out spending the extra cash on fun things.
All is well in my (virtual) world. And Sonia says that when this magic alchemy of attention to intention begins to click, it is only a matter of time before real reality follows suit.
Today’s Takeaway: Do you pay regular attention to where you are placing your attention? If so, can you see a correlation between what you pay attention to and what transpires in your daily life? Have you ever experimented like I am doing right now with shifting your attention to see if that changes your daily life experiences as well?