“Finding support from within.” In the life I’ve lived thus far, I have heard this phrase a lot.
At this point, after more than three decades of recovery work from anorexia, bulimia, anxiety, depression, and now hypothyroidism, I typically don’t even really “hear” it when someone says “find support from within.”
They could be saying “blah blah blah blah” for all I know or care.
But that changed this morning. This morning, as I was wobbling through yet another morning of yoga lessons with Adriene, my wonderful YouTube teacher, with my left wrist all bandaged up and carefully isolated from any excess movement, and all the rest of me focused mostly on its absence along with Adriene’s instructions, she said it.
“Find support from within.”
Wait. Oh wait a minute. What was that profound thing I just heard?
I could almost feel my little brain motors whirring, like a drone hovering above something super interesting that is nearly lost from sight….I rewound the video to hear it again.
“Find support from within.”
This particular year, 2018, has brought some other challenges as well, and in particular a need to re-center myself in me-just-me as a long-term connection to someone I still truly love falls away. I’m not really ready to blog about it yet….perhaps ever….but just to say I’m rediscovering that, at the end of the day, when it is all said and done, (insert apropos cliche here), I am my own most solid and trustworthy source of support.
In other words, if I can’t find it within, I may not be able to find it anywhere.
So I’d best look within. I WANT to look within. Most of all, I want to find what I am looking for within me. I need it to be there – in times like these most of all.
For the first time this morning, as I listened to Adriene repeat her words several times, it occurred to me that that is what yoga practice (and all those other recovery practices I’ve learned over the years) is really for.
Yoga, like meditation, mindfulness, breathing (pranayama), contemplation, affirmations, focused journaling, so many more, is literally designed to send me within. It is about a coming together of the whole me, all working together in harmony, all aligned towards the common goal of giving and receiving support.
We all need it, after all. As my beloved parents and beloved pets and beloved friends and mentors grow older, I worry more about losing them. But I rarely worry about losing myself.
I should worry more about that. Or, rather, I should take time to find myself daily by intentionally turning within to find the support that is there. Right now, at this very moment (and even as I type), I am learning that it IS there.
Today’s Takeaway: What pops into your mind (or what feeling floods through your being) when you hear the phrase “finding support from within.” Or does your mind take five, like mine did for so many years? Is there some nugget of wisdom inside that phrase that is yours, but perhaps you just didn’t spend enough time with it to see that until now? I’d love to hear your thoughts!