The other morning I woke up gasping.
I had had the most horrific dream…..again.
In this particular dream, I was part of a group of women trying to escape from a trafficking ring. But although we would put our heads together to devise ever more inventive plans to escape, the predators who controlled us always seemed to be one step ahead.
I have to confess it has often felt like this in my waking life as well in years past. But only during this past year, as I studied and pursued my year-long intention of experiencing sufficiency, did I realize how much.
This morning just before I woke, I found myself in a place that looked a lot like planet Earth, only it was so much better. It was greener. Happier. More social and friendly. The temperature was so comfortable, with just the right amount of sun and wind and clouds. The air was pure and clear, and so was the water. And the grass was so green.
Everyone nearby was engaged in some type of activity, and they all looked quite focused and pleased to be doing whatever it was they were doing. Also, each person looked well fed, well rested, healthy and strong and calm.
This is how I knew the place I was in wasn’t precisely Earth as we know it right now.
Then the thought arose, “When did we forget that this lovely planet and all things here belong to ALL of us? When did we forget how to share?”
So far as I know, no being yet has popped out on day one of their lifetime here and been told, “You see all this? This is yours. It is all for you. Share some of it if you want to, but just remember, sharing is optional. You can also choose to keep it all for yourself.”
So far as I am aware, this has never happened. And this is because no one being owns our planet or anything on it or in it. Furthermore, what is here is for all beings to share, not just for the species called homo sapiens. If we seem to have trouble remembering to share with our fellow human beings, the struggle is one hundredfold when it comes to sharing with our non-human planet-mates.
Looking back over my life to date, I can see that when I was recovering from an eating disorder, anxiety and depression, I often felt like I was left “without.” The sense of scarcity, of not having enough, was so strong…it made me doubt my worth, discount my rights, question whether I should quit or fight.
Now I know fighting was the right choice. The resources I needed to heal, to survive, to thrive, were always mine for the having. They were always there and they were always enough to fully meet all of my needs.
But I didn’t know this. At that time, I thought those who had more deserved more, and those who had less deserved less. I thought how much I had was a direct reflection of my worth as a being. I thought maybe I would even be doing the planet a favor if I just gave up.
Now I know giving up on myself would have been a big mistake. I am needed here. I am meant to be here. I am part of the “enough” we all have access to. My sufficiency was always present in full. I just had to fight for it, because there were those around me who didn’t think sufficiency for everyone was possible.
So they hoarded and stored and stockpiled. Then they posted “No Trespassing” and “Private Property” signs. Some of what they took as their own was meant for me. So I had to go out and find it and claim it.
I had to work for it, and I had to hold firm in my vision that somewhere, somehow, there was enough. There was enough for the others, and there was enough for me, too.
Today, I know this is true. I also know it often doesn’t look or feel like it is true. When I look at the news, scan my social feeds, listen to loved ones, the pain and the hardship is so palpable. The pinch of scarcity is everywhere….or so it seems.
In these moments, I have to remind myself it is not that there is not enough for everyone. Rather, it is that some of us, in our fear of scarcity, are holding on to a little or a lot more than we need. This also includes me. Scarcity is not an easy lesson to unlearn.
Yet I also believe it is our gift and opportunity – individually and collectively – to unlearn it. Life can be so much better. It can be so much more abundant, caring, loving. It is possible to unlearn scarcity and learn sufficiency, right here in the midst of all that still so desperately needs changing.
It has always been possible, and it starts here and now….with me….and you.
Today’s Takeaway: As each year passes by, do you feel yourself letting go of certain fears and anxieties, such as not having enough? If yes, can you pinpoint ways you have helped yourself to feel more confident in sharing, in trustingly deciding what you need and what is to be left to meet others’ needs? I would love to hear any insights you have!
P.S. This post is from my free monthly e-zine, Good News for Recovery + Life. Read the full edition HERE!