The lovely little brown boy Abyssinian guinea pig I got to hold at the pet store.

I have a little “goat problem.”

It actually started with sheep. I watched this documentary called “Addicted to Sheep.” The documentary was filmed in rural England, which meant I didn’t really understand anything the sheep keepers said.

But I watched the entire thing anyway, riveted, sucked in, snagged hook line and sinker by the adorable little furry bundles they cared for.

But then it occurred to me that it probably wasn’t possible to keep just one sheep. What would I do at shearing time? “Um, hello, do you shear sheep?” “Yes, ma’am – we can even come out to your farm to shear on-site! How many sheep do you have?”

“Uh….one.”

Click.

Nope. That wouldn’t work. Then I read this fabulous article about a new fitness craze sweeping the country called “goat yoga.” Now THIS was more like it.

No shearing issues, I would finally have the incentive to actually do some yoga (rather than just talk about doing yoga), and no complaints about the cute, furry workout partners…..

Then I thought to myself, “Wait a minute. Baby goats are very cute. If I had one of my own, I could do goat yoga all the time and I’d get very fit.”

So I decided to start researching. 

This led me to realize there is no such thing as having “just one” baby goat. Goats, unlike turtles and tortoises, like to be with other goats all the time, not just when they’re ready to make more goats.

Plus, adult goats are a lot bigger than baby goats. A single pair of adult goats (any size) requires 3,000 square feet of lawn space to play and run in. This is approximately 2,990 more square feet of lawn space than I can currently offer, none of which is technically mine anyway given my second story garage apartment casa.

Roadblocks were popping up everywhere.

Then today, I went to the pet store to buy my box turtle, Bruce, some mealworms. And there was the cutest, furriest, fluffiest little guinea pig I’ve ever seen! I’ve been writing about guinea pigs lately for one of my freelance clients, and from everything I read, they are perhaps the sweetest, most docile pets on earth.

By lingering near the guinea pig enclosure and looking lovestruck, I convinced one of the store associates to open up the cage and let me hold the guinea pig. So soft! So furry! And I could just close my eyes and imagine slightly longer legs and a slightly bigger body….

Everything was going great until I realized there was only one more teensy, tiny problem with my new perfect plan.

I already feel completely and totally and utterly overwhelmed with caring for the three pets I have.

My boyfriend keeps trying to encourage me to work at a petting zoo or the actual zoo or some place like that where there are lots of animals. But the issue there is that I would really be working with people, which is not precisely my strongest forte. After all, who comes to visit petting zoos and real zoos and wildlife reserves and all those types of places?

People.

More than two decades of work in retail, including 5 endless years waiting tables, has taught me that I can comfortably tolerate about 10 minutes of working with people before something in me spontaneously explodes.

I’m really very introverted, and this makes me much more suited to work with animals, who don’t require me to make small talk or actually remember the fine details of their lunch order.

So for now, it would seem I’m not getting any sheep….or any goats….or any guinea pigs, for that matter.

But I can dream. And oh, I DO!

Today’s Takeaway: Have you ever wanted to keep a certain type of pet but you just knew it was all kinds of impractical on all kinds of levels? Did you find another way to fulfill that interest? If so, I sure would love to hear about your experiences!