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How to Make Friends with Money

Our puppy, Flash Gordon, came to us when he was 8 weeks old. He has never once seemed to doubt we would take care of his every need. To me, this is the perfect relationship with money. Trust. Faith. Friendship.
Our puppy, Flash Gordon, came to us when he was 8 weeks old. He has never once seemed to doubt we would take care of his every need. To me, this is the perfect relationship with money. Trust. Faith. Friendship.

Full disclosure – I don’t have a lot of money.

In fact, if you factor out the contents of a meager IRA left over from an unlikely few years spent working for an oil company, I have very little money at all.

(By the way, this is nothing new.)

Yet in spite of my ongoing unimpressive net worth, I feel like money and I are starting to become friends for the first time ever.

I also suspect the New Year’s intention I set for this year to “have faith” has a lot to do with this new unfolding friendship.

As I’ve explored my intention to have faith, faith is slowly beginning to reveal its true self to me through pointing out all the things it isn’t.

Here are some things I’ve learned about what faith isn’t (at least to me): 

-Faith isn’t submitting a detailed request and then expecting guaranteed results…or else.
-Faith isn’t the same as self-effort (i.e., louder or longer prayers won’t equal a better outcome).
-Faith isn’t in short supply. Ever. There is always more, and there is always enough.

I have also learned one thing about what faith is. Faith is energy. Faith is vibrant and alive.

In the same way, when I look around me out into the world, I realize that faith and money have these same 3 things in common.

Money, like faith, is energy. It is vibrant and alive.

And like faith, money is also plentiful. Just because it isn’t doled out equally doesn’t mean there isn’t piles of it – likely more than anyone anywhere could ever use up.

In studying people who seem to have made lifelong friends with money, I have also begun to perceive the presence of these qualities:

-They like and enjoy money.
-They give money a consistently warm and fear-free welcome.
-They view money as easy to obtain whenever they want or need it.
-They are comfortable in the company of money – their own and others’.
-They readily co-exist with money without labeling it as “good” or “bad.”
-They understand that money, like all forms of energy, flows and ebbs in regular cycles.
-They accept money’s place and usefulness in our world.
-They understand that money is powerful and are confident when handling it.

All that to say, when I compare my own past relationship with money against these qualities, I’m not surprised it has rather reliably steered clear of my company.

I haven’t been comfortable handling money or even co-existing with it.

I’ve often treated it like an emergency ration of oxygen delivered just in the nick of time.

And my opinions about people who have a lot of it….well, all I can say there is, I can do much better.

I have friends in my life because (I hope) I emit friendly energy. In other words, I am friendly towards, eager for and comfortable with having the experience of friendship.

So my theory here – and keep in mind it is still mostly just a theory at this point! – is that when I become more able to become friendly towards, eager for and comfortable with the presence of money in my life, there is a good chance money will become more friendly towards me as well.

Perhaps it will even agree to mentor me. Perhaps it already has.

Today’s Takeaway: What is your take on befriending money? Is it possible? Have you ever done it? What do you think helps people who have lots of money hold onto it, and generate more? Conversely, for people who consistently struggle to make ends meet, do you think there is something driving that? 

p.s. This post is from my free monthly e-zine, “Good News for Recovery + Life

How to Make Friends with Money

Shannon Cutts

Parrot, tortoise & box turtle mama. Writer. Author. Songwriter. Champion of all people (and things) recovered and recovering.

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APA Reference
Cutts, S. (2020). How to Make Friends with Money. Psych Central. Retrieved on July 4, 2020, from


Last updated: 30 Mar 2020
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