I have spent years searching for the “real me.”
Every so often I would catch this fleeting glimpse of someone – a free, funny, warm, spontaneous, creative, loving, laughter-filled being – as she moved through me.
I would try to follow her, but she was very quick….so quick she often seemed to be formed out of sheer wishful thinking or my (always) overactive imagination.
But I kept searching for her anyway.
I kept searching because she was irresistible. She was marvelous.
On the days she would spontaneously flit through me, the effect was not unlike finding out the FBI had just caught the real suspect and the handcuffs could finally come off. The jail cell door was opened and I could go home now.
I was free.
Over the years, she would continue to visit me for a moment there, an instant here. I would always linger in the memories of her visits, trying to prolong her presence within me as much as possible.
One day, her visits started getting a bit longer. Instead of just rushing through on her way to somewhere wonderful (I was sure), she would stop to say hi. And maybe have a bit of a chat. Sometimes we would have a cup from my single serve coffee maker together before she left again.
Some more time passed, and she started spending the morning or afternoon, and then whole days.
Today, she will sometimes blow in for a day or few, or even a whole week at a stretch.
During these times, I often start to find it hard to tell precisely where she leaves off and I begin. Or vice versa.
And to this day, I couldn’t tell you whether she is “the real me” who has been inside me all along, or perhaps is some kind of “ideal me” I assembled from bits and pieces of wonderfulness I picked up along the way, like the tiny, shiny fragments of colored glass I used to collect as a girl.
What I can say for sure is, she fits. I fit. We are meant to be together.
I share this story on a hunch that you, too, have had those fleeting glimpses, those marvelous moments, when a “you” almost too wonderful to hope for flits through, waves cheerily like you’ve met before, and wings on by.
And if you have ever felt a jolt of recognition when this occurs, there is a good chance that the “real you” and you have already met, and are even now in the process of becoming lifelong good friends!
Today’s Takeaway: Have you in the past or are you now still in search of the “real you?” If yes, have you ever experienced any signs, hints or glimpses that tell you without a doubt that you are on the right track? I’d love to hear about these! 🙂