A few months ago, I finally published my second book.
I was super excited…..at first.
But once the book began selling well in earnest, I began to feel anxious.
At this point I asked myself quite kindly, “What is the matter? Why are you so anxious when you could be enjoying your new book’s success?”
Very quickly from within I heard these shocking words, “Just wait until the book stops selling and the bottom falls out of all this – then see how cheery you will feel!”
In other words, I was clearly having trouble adjusting to my own success.
I had somehow become so accustomed to feeling like a failure that even when success came knocking and then let itself in, I refused to recognize or welcome it.
I was too afraid of what would happen if it decided not to stay. I was SO afraid, in fact, that I was actively visualizing future failure in the midst of current success!
It was at this point I realized that I lacked the strength to hold success.
I lacked a concept, a perception, of me-as-successful – and that was the part of me that was fighting with the reality of me-as-successful.
So I started trying to strengthen my “success muscles.” I started doing specific meditations to find out what in me didn’t resonate with success and how to remedy that.
I used my deep breathing to work through my fears and the memories of past failures, knowing that only by letting them go would I be able to live as me-now in this present successful moment.
Slowly but surely, I began to feel less surprised when another book would sell. In time, as I continued to pave a new path that recognized and welcomed success into my life, I actually began to actively market the book and to expect new sales.
Today, I am feeling calmer and more safe in the presence of success in my life. I don’t feel the same level of fear or self-doubt or anxiety as I did even a few months ago.
But I still have work to do.
I am sharing this with you – work-in-progress that this journey is – because I now know that we each have the capacity to hold success – success in life, success in love, success in recovery, success in every area of life.
But first we have to build up our body-mind-heart-spirit muscles so we can hold the successes we dream of achieving.
This month, I encourage you to start building those muscles. Start breathing through your fears and past painful memories. Start “trying on” the concept of you-as-successful. Wiggle around in your new virtual “success suit” and see how it feels.
Just get used to the idea and see where it takes you.
Personally, I’ll be betting that it takes you closer and closer to success!
Today’s Takeaway: Is there an area in your life where you really, really want success – dream of it – work towards it – yet you aren’t totally sure you could hold it if success actually came to you right now? What could you start to do to prepare yourself for the day your success dream turns into a reality?
p.s. This post is from my free monthly e-zine, Good News for Recovery + Life