…article excerpted from Processing Paris on The Huffington Post.
I woke up on Saturday, November 14, to my usual laundry list of worries.
Should I color my grey roots today or wait until tomorrow?
I hope I can speed-read those two library books before I get a “late” notice….again.
I wonder how close (far away) I am from making rent this month.
I’d better take Malti outside right away this morning in case it starts to rain.
Then, while casually browsing Facebook, I saw this phrase:
“Terror in Paris.”
I won’t lie – reading those words, it felt like watching the Twin Towers all over again, just in somebody else’s country this time.
Then I tumbled right into that empty-headed, open-souled, weightless and totally safe space inside that is always waiting for me – for just such times as these.
And then I read, and watched, and read some more and watched some more, trying to put at least a few reassuring pieces together before starting my day in earnest.
In the days that have followed, no such reassuring pieces have yet presented themselves. Instead, I have continued to wake up first into the shock, then into the pain, then into the tumbling-into-my-safe-space that helps me haul my legs over the side of the bed without wrestling too long or loudly with thoughts like, “why bother?”
I had met a friend for coffee later that same Saturday, and she said, “I just think this is how it’s going to be from now on – terror and more terror and more terror all over the world.”
I couldn’t really argue, but I didn’t want to agree.
I felt a little better after my boyfriend and I had a long talk, but only because we dissected human choice to the point where life itself began to feel like the ultimate inscrutable Zen koan – illuminating to the Dalai Lama perhaps, but certainly not to the likes of us.
Then I saw a video on the news where the terrorists were saying they have plenty more terror planned and that it includes us Americans.
Today’s Takeaway: What has it been like for you – processing the events in Paris? Have you uncovered any insights or inspirations that have given you strength and hope? Are you feeling a lot of pain or anger or hate or fear, and, if so, what do you think you need to be able to move forward without taking it all with you? I would love to hear your insights and experiences!