For so many years I have lived with the suspicion that there is a much kinder, sweeter, more loving being inside me than the one I spend most of my waking hours with.
Don’t get me wrong – I’m not lodging a complaint about being “conscious me.” These days, I feel like I mostly do a reasonably good job of staying optimistic, seeing the positive, treating myself and others with kindness and respect, and always trying to do my best.
I’m talking about something far beyond these basics.
I’m talking about a being who is – luminous. Expansive. Tuned in.
I’m talking about an “inner me” who maybe wouldn’t even be able to manifest in my day-to-day without significant interruptions to that same day-to-day (for reasons of aforementioned luminosity, expansiveness, and empathy).
Recently, I realized that this being exists. I have proof.
She has always been there. I have proof of this too.
I had another experience of her this morning, when I was doing my morning meditation.
I pictured my parrot, Pearl, and then my tortoise, Malti. So much love rose up within me. I merged – jumped, really – into that love, until all I felt was love.
Then I pictured my meditation teacher, gazing at me with such love. Again I leaped into the love and became love.
Then I pictured my significant other. The love arose, I took what had by now become my customary flying leap, and was completely immersed in and expressed as that love.
This – this love – this being-as-love – this is clearly my best me. This is the being I am proudest of, well, being. This is a me that has always been there, a me who radiates undeniable beauty, grace, compassion, and loving-kindness.
Thank goodness. 🙂
Yet, while I truly believe beings like the Dalai Lama can probably stay in that rare and sublime space and still function quite effectively in their daily lives, I’m not so sure about me. When that inner me meets up with my (frequently irritating and frustrating) day-to-day, she often feels more than a little fragile.
I’m not so sure how well she would do, with her great big heart and total lack of street smarts.
But it is nice to know she is in there, fabulous to experience her when the time is right, and great to aspire to one day let my inner “Dalai Lama” run free out into my everyday life and work her much-needed magic in this hurting world.
Today’s Takeaway: I have to say it – I truly – thoroughly – in a way I don’t think you could talk me out of – believe that each one of us has this same inner being. If I do, you must also. It reminds me of what my mentor sometimes says, “Either everything is God or nothing is God.” Regardless of how you relate to the word “God” (I often prefer the term spirit or soul or divine myself), this statement rings true. If I am light and loving-kindness in my inmost reaches, you must be too. Do you agree?
NOTE: This post is from my free monthly e-zine for August, “Good News for Recovery + Life“