The other day, a friend said to me, “We are all in recovery from something.”
I deeply resonated with her statement.
For instance, while I no longer struggle to nourish my body appropriately, I am still working hard to reprogram old tapes in my brain that speak to me, saying, “your body should look different.”
This morning I caught myself looking in the mirror as a way to settle this exact type of dilemma.
Did I hate my curves or like them? I couldn’t decide.
In that instant, I realized the solution comes down to one of permission.
I have to decide – I GET to decide.
Do I like my curves? Or do I hate them?
Do I see beauty when I look in the mirror? Or do I see a shape and form that causes me pain?
If, in a flash, I catch myself thinking, “Wow – I look good today!,” do I allow myself to own and enjoy that sentiment?
Or do I proceed to talk myself out of my own assessment?
Sometimes I feel deeply, deeply sad that I wrestle with such a dilemma at all.
Who told me I wasn’t beautiful as-is? Who told you?
What in me believed that statement? Why did you believe it – at the time?
Do I still choose to believe what causes me pain? Do you?
Or do I choose a happier, healthier, much truer truth – which is that my body is beautiful. I am beautiful….right now, as the me that I am.
What will you choose? Will you give yourself permission to love your body as it is?
I am working towards the day when I will no longer have to argue with myself to make the choice I want to make.
I hope you will join me on this great journey!!
Today’s Takeaway: How do you feel about your body when you gaze in the mirror? Do you have sudden flashes of “liking” what you see – only to feel your mind quickly tamp them back down again? Do you ever wonder – what is holding you back from liking or even loving your own reflected image? What would it take to make that next leap forward in your recovery journey?
p.s. This post is from September’s “Good News for Eating Disorders Recovery” e-newsletter.