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Archives for December, 2012

Good News

You ARE Good at Recovery

Sometimes we do things, not because we are so good at them, but because we WANT to get good at them, and because they matter to us.

As we wave goodbye to another year and welcome in a new one, I wanted to share with you the inspiring message from December's edition of "Good News for Eating Disorders Recovery".

You ARE Good at...
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Movie Mentors

Creating Guidelines for Life

Often when I fall in love with a movie, it starts with a single line that hits home.

For instance, let's take the original "Pirates of the Caribbean" movie. I know there have been like a zillion new ones since the original, but I am still stuck on the first one. It is because of "the guidelines" (otherwise known as the "Pirate's Code"). When Elizabeth (Keira Knightley) invokes the rule of parlay...
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Relationships

Setting a New Year’s Vision

I don't know what it is about the holiday season, but it seems like, every year at about this time, everybody I know starts worrying out loud about whether they are doing enough or getting enough out of life. Perhaps all that family crowded into such a small space brings up old memories about what we dreamed about being or doing when we were kids. Or maybe it is the...
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Relationships

Staying Receptive

I was at a friend's birthday party last Friday night and I had an interesting conversation. Of course, nearly every conversation will be interesting once someone asks me the inevitable question, "So what do you do?" "Oh, I'm a writer and a speaker." "Well, what do you write and speak about?" "Eating disorders. And mentoring."

That pretty much does it - from there I can sit back and listen. The person usually either chooses...
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Recovery

Why Labels Suck

Labels. They are EVERYWHERE.

Labels are affixed to our clothing and glued to the sides of our food packages. They are displayed on the front of buildings, in our online dating profiles, and on our driver's licenses.

Most of all, they exist, prominently and for most of us, for the balance of our natural lifetimes, inside our heads.

They separate you from me, and us from them. They train us to see opposite genders,...
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Recovery

Attacking Habitual Anxiety, Part 2

Recently I received a question from a reader that relates to this post about something I call "habitual anxiety".

She wrote: Thank you for this. I am exactly here, at this very moment, and your post is invaluable. I do have a question though. Could you explain a little more about how not to suppress the anxiety while challenging it? I find combining acceptance and challenging thoughts confusing. Thanks!

I...
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Recovery

A Contentment Surprise

In a society that lives, breathes even, on the credo of "more, better, faster", I often feel like I am chasing ghosts in my search for inner contentment. Don't get me wrong - I am not giving up. But so often I spend an entire day chasing what I think is "contentment", only to discover by day's end that it was just another desire.

For instance, recently I realized that the state of "happiness" and the...
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Recovery

Emotional Theft

For years therapists (and others) have been telling me that I too easily appropriate the emotions of others for my own.

For years, I have had no idea what they were talking about.

I cannot begin to express how much time and money and effort I have spent attempting to heal from "my" emotional wounds over the years, only to encounter yet another treatment professional who would solemnly pronounce, "but don't you see how you...
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