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Can You Become Your Own Soulmate?

Recently, I was watching one of my favorite holiday-themed movies, “Valentine’s Day.”

Don’t ask me why I was watching it in October – maybe because I have to confront the reality of this overpriced corporate holiday at some point each year, and I’m usually not in the mood in February.

Or maybe it was just because I love how deep Taylor Swift’s character is.

Nope, that can’t be it. 😉

Truthfully, though, I know why I’ve watched V-Day four or five times now. I love films about real love – imperfect, messy love, between people who often look as well as act imperfect and messy, about guys who are sappier than gals (it does happen – I’m just about the least sappy gal I know, so it’s nice to know I’m not alone) and gals who aren’t ready for or just haven’t found commitment yet (ditto the “not alone” statement here).

So I guess really I love films about real love that I could see myself actually starring in – or at least playing a bit part.

The night after I watched the film, I woke up the next morning thinking about the lifelong romance portrayed between Estelle (Shirley Maclaine) and Edgar (Hector Elizondo). It usually isn’t “young love” that moves me to tears – it is portraits (in film or real life) about couples who have spent their entire lives together that get the waterworks going. So many people want this – long for it – feel that life will quite simply but incomplete, not fully lived, if they never find it. I have spent many years wanting it myself.

Today, I want it less than I ever have before, but not for the reasons you might think.

I want that “other” connection less at the moment because I have recently become consumed with curiosity about the possibility – what if – could I become my own soulmate?

What if it were possible to wake up in the morning and feel thoroughly overjoyed to spend yet another day in my own company? I know it is possible, because this is how my bird, Pearl, experiences every morning of her life. One glimpse of her own small grey and white face in any reflective surface, and she utters a shrill CHIRP! of greeting, clearly delighted to have yet another full day to spend with herself.

But what if this were possible for human beings too – specifically, me? Don’t get me wrong – I still want to experience the Estelle-and-Edgar phenomenon. But if I had to choose, I think I would want this more.

I want to feel peaceful and content at my own passing, like I am in the company of my own best friend. In fact, I don’t want to wait until then – I want to feel this every day, starting now.

I also don’t believe that we have to choose between forming a deep bond with ourselves and forming a deep bond with a partner. But other than the great saints (Buddha, Jesus, et al) I just don’t actually really know anyone who has become their own soulmate – or at least if they have, they haven’t let me in on their secret – so since this is a goal I don’t have to wait to start working on, I started yesterday.

Wish me luck. 🙂

What do you think? Is it possible to become your own soulmate?

Today’s Takeaway: How would your life change if you treated yourself more like a soul-level, lifelong best friend and partner? If you have a long term mate now, would you say you treat yourself with the same degree of love and care that you offer them? If you knew for a fact that it were possible to become your own soulmate, would you want to experience that – why or why not?

Can You Become Your Own Soulmate?

Shannon Cutts

Parrot, tortoise & box turtle mama. Writer. Author. Mentor. Champion of all people (and things) recovered and recovering.

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APA Reference
Cutts, S. (2012). Can You Become Your Own Soulmate?. Psych Central. Retrieved on January 18, 2020, from


Last updated: 8 Oct 2012
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