Living inside your own skin can be a lonely, lonely place.
At least once you realize you are there.
The fact is that many of us spend so much of our time living our lives inside of others’ skins that we seldom occupy our own.
What do I mean by this?
As Byron Katie often reminded us during the School for the Work course, there are only three kinds of business – God’s (by which she states that she means “reality,” or “what is”), mine, and yours.
Guess how often we sneak out of our own business – which refers to the thoughts, events, and circumstances that we can actually control and actually have responsibility for – and into other people’s business, or God’s business?
If you are anything like me, ALL THE TIME.
For instance, I think my bird, Pearl, shouldn’t shriek when I am on the phone.
I think the Best Western at the Grand Canyon should make sure that there are no mice in the guests’ rooms.
I think my friend should exercise more and eat better food.
Yet none of this is actually my business.
Even worse, as I analyze, criticize, and re-script others’ lives, I miss my own. I miss out on my own life, on feeling the joy that is mine to feel, on letting go of the stress that is not mine to hold onto anyway.
It is my bird’s business when she shrieks – she shrieks because it feels right, and how do I know this? Because she is shrieking. Again.
It is the Best Western management’s business how mouse-free of an environment they want to maintain (and how many customer refunds they want to issue if they don’t). How do I know this? Because the room I stayed in had a mouse in it. It was already there when I arrived and for all I know, it may still be there. And yes, I got a refund before I left.
It is my friend’s business how much she chooses to exercise and what she consumes. How do I know this? Because year after year, regardless of what I do or don’t say, she still exercises the same amount, and she still eats the same crappy food.
If we want to feel at home in our own skin, Katie teaches, we have to learn how to stay in it, and live in it.
Today’s Takeaway: Where are you allowing yourself to get involved in business that is not your own? Whose life do you think you could live better than they are living it? And how does that affect your ability to meet your own goals, heal your own insecurities, overcome your own challenges, and live your own life to the best of your ability?