We had a Baby and Now We Can’t Stand Each Other

Sleepless nights, pelvic floor pain, plugged milk ducts. We talk frequently about these and other effects of having a baby, but you don’t hear a lot about relationships. More specifically, many of my clients come to me in distress about the state of their marriage after having children. They feel irritated with their partners, are fighting more frequently, and are disconnected. 


Paternity Leave: A Feminist Issue


In my last post, I laid out several of the problems with the current structure of maternity leave and flexible work policies in the United States, including the gender gap in earnings and the expectation that women will still be responsible for childcare and domestic tasks implicit in many leave policies. As I outlined, these policies don’t fix the problem and may actually make it worse.


Hey Jane the Virgin: Paternal Postnatal Depression is No Laughing Matter

Last week’s episode of the CW’s Jane the Virgin featured a subplot that addressed postnatal depression in men. In brief, after choosing to stay home with his newborn daughter, Rogelio (Jane’s father) claims to have developed male postpartum depression (paternal postnatal depression or PPND). He proceeds to get in a Twitter war and talk show feud with newfound arch nemesis River Fields (notably played by real life postpartum depression survivor and advocate Brooke Shields).


Mom Guilt: It’s Time to Stop Struggling and Start Living

Last week, I spoke about guilt in the context of sibling transitions.  But, of course, guilt is everywhere in the perinatal context, and the notion of “mommy guilt” is pervasive and pernicious.

From pregnancy to parenting, and everywhere in between, our culture is rife with judgmental messages and unrealistic expectations. We are supposed to love being pregnant, have the perfect birth experience, exclusively breastfeed, make our own organic baby food, attend every soccer game, and lean in at work. What a set up for...


Sibling Transitions and Guilt

Last week, my colleague Dr. Julie Bindeman and I had the privilege of speaking to a group of preschool parents about the experience of adding a new sibling to a family. In addition to providing information and suggestions about managing behavioral regressions, navigating complicated schedules, and finding time for self-care, we spoke a lot about guilt.

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