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Bipolar II

Being Hard Core is Hard Knocks

When I was a junior in college my mind was starting to get the worst of me.  My anxiety was so bad that I decided to try yoga.  And like all things in my life I was going to do it to the max.  I had no money at the time and was sharing a loft in Harlem.  When my roommate went on vacation I decided to take charge of the living room floor space so I bought a tape, and practiced Ashtanga yoga, 1.5 hours a day, seven days a week, for a full three months straight.



Bipolar I

How To Manage Your Break-up

Not everyone has the power to break up, even when they know they should.  So many factors go into a relationship that the words “we’re through” sometimes don’t cut it.  Every individual has their ways of emotionally handling a break up and you have to trust your instincts to know when the time is right for you.

So how do you manage your break up…



Bipolar I

“What’s wrong with you?!”

“What is wrong with you?!”

I’d get that a lot as a kid growing up.  When I was younger my parents would take me places and sometimes the littlest thing would set me off.  I would start balling and not be able to control myself and my parents would just look at each other like they didn’t know what to do.



Bipolar I

The Ball Breakers

Sometimes I think my “best work” is stupid. “Best” meaning people tweet it, facebook it, etc., and then I write something that I think is real, deep and dark, or honest, and people frown away.

I’m stuck in a pop culture that cares more about (so help me God I will not start name dropping tweets) so and so or TMZ malarkey.  I still don’t know what TMZ...


Bipolar I

Depression and the Plot of Your Life…

Sometimes you’re not depressed, you’re just not happy.  And given the world we live in with stress, and the realities of the plot of our lives, it’s hard to decipher the difference between chemical depression and self-inflicted depression.

How do you know if you are chemically depressed or simply emotionally upset from the plot of your life?

We’re in charge of both our environmental depressions and our chemical ones, so trying to figure out what’s up is really the challenge.

My mind is fine.  The plot of my life, not so much.  So the question remains, staring me down in the face.

Are you creating a world that feeds depression, or is it happening as a beast on its own?


Bipolar I

Anxiety: The Devil

Facebook, texting, twitter and emails are all the devil to people that are drunk, impulsive or anxious.

Anxious is probably the worst, period.

I get a rage in my insides to respond or write something that I know I won’t mean the next day or after that hangover or after that manic episode, by then and it's too late. Any electronic viral beast is just that: A beast.  Hide your equipment when you’ve...


Truth Be Told, PLEASE

My book, "Inside the Insane," caused a scene in Los Angeles County when it first came out.  I was immediately escorted out of my job at the hospital and served papers which said I was under investigation for publishing my book and conducting myself in “inappropriate behavior.”  For what?

For telling my truth.  My truth.  We all have a different idea or concept of truth, which is great, but only if we use that truth toward bettering society.

Upon catching wind of my book, the county banned me from speaking to anyone from the Department of Mental Health (DMH) or the Department of Health Services (DHS) and moved me to the basement at headquarters to do data entry.  OK.

John Stuart Mill “On Liberty”

“Truth, in the great practical concerns of life, is so much of a question of the reconciling and combining of opposites that very few have minds sufficiently impartial to make the adjustment with an approach to correctness, and it has to be made by the rough process of a struggle between combatants fighting under hostile banners.”  (1859)

I believe truth has lost its voice in our culture, specifically when discussing the mentally ill. 


General

The Face Off: Why Are Women so Crazy in the Bathroom?

If I have one more face off with a woman in my work bathroom stall beside me I… I am not sure WHAT I will do.

Why are women so crazy in the bathroom?  When it comes to going number two, they want to do it alone so they will sit and wait for you to go, flush and leave.  And should they accidentally go they will immediately play with...


Coping Skills

Don’t Be Mad At Me: The Reality of the Female Psyche Today

Women cannot have it all.  This is a fact.  In many ways the feminist movement bit women 'cause we rallied for equality when, simply put, men and women are not equal.

The “modern woman” is faced with a double-edged sword.  We need to have a career to land a man than once we’re married, we’re supposed to drop everything and have a family.  Women spend thousands of dollars ensuring they are marketable to men by having high educations and flourishing careers, then have to ditch that profession to raise a family.  And women who don’t want to work and just want to raise a family are frowned upon by our culture.

What does this mean to the female human psyche?


Bipolar I

Bipolar II Sense of Time – Slow Motion

I’ll never forget the first time I took medication and woke up.  It was 6:00AM.  I jumped in my car and immediately drove to my best friend’s house in the hills.  I exploded into her room, fueled by excitement that I had never experienced straight out of bed in the morning.  Ever.

“I woke up normal.”

My friend rose from her heavy sleep and smiled. “That’s awesome.”

“No, really, is this how people wake up?  Like, rested?”

“Yeah!  I told you you should have gotten help.  I’m so happy for you.”

“Happy isn’t even the word for it.”