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Archives for Medications

Bipolar II

Using Mental Illness to Get Out of Situations

Ok, I know this is terrible. It is not the first time I’ve done it, and I am sure I am not the only one who has – using my mental health as an excuse for my behavior, using my mental health to avoid situations, using my mental health to justify my actions. Sometimes I use, and abuse.

Case in point

I have an on and off relationship with someone that I am trying to permanently end,...
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Bipolar II

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I refer to my 20’s as the Roaring 20’s cause for the majority of it, I was living in New York in a hypomanic state which looking back was pretty wild. However, sometimes I miss that time. I was hyper social and alive and...
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Bipolar I

Preparing for Seasonal Depression

I suffer from seasonal depression, and every Holiday season I start to worry that a depression will take hold, and I won't be ready for it.

My depression has started to creep up on me and it's not even Thanksgiving yet. Luckily, I went to my psychiatrist to see about increasing the milligrams of my antidepressant, which is very alarming to me cause I have never wanted to increase my medication.  If anything, I'm always trying to lower...
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Bipolar II

Med Compliance: Mother VS Daughter

I’ve always been super med compliant. For over decade every day, twice a day, I have taken my pills. Often times I would get a call from my mother and somewhere in the middle of the conversation I’d hear, “You’re taking your medication right? You have to stay on your meds.” “Yes Mom. I am taking my pills.”

She was always serious when she brought up my mental health, and her tone would change when she discussed my...
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Bipolar II

When Medication Makes You Fat

Sometimes you just wake up fat one day. You don’t know how it happened. You don’t know where it came from. You’re just fat. So, I blame it on my medication and quit my anti-depressant today. My diet and work out regime is pretty steady so all I can really truly blame is my meds. And it makes me mad, sad and confused. The worst part is I really liked the medication. It makes me...
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Bipolar II

When Side Effects Implode

I realize that I am at a crossroad in life and it kept me up the other night. I realized that I have no sex drive and am sauntering through life like a normal person. Welcome to planet earth!! I have always been an alien and liked it with a crude hatred at the end of the day. But, without a sex drive, and feeling normal, makes me wonder: Do I want to be regular?...
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Bipolar I

Fat Check: Med Control V

Hell no I didn’t take the med. I am on a roll here, but the guilt is building. I feel like I am cheating or lying to my psychiatrist by choosing to not take it and knowing that I am going to have to report that on my next visit only makes it worse. Of course the ramifications of quitting my antidepressant after being on board with it for weeks have not and will not rear its...
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Coping Skills

Fat Check: Med Control Part I

I started an antidepressant several weeks ago, which happened to be around the same time Lent started and all those chocolate Easter eggs hit the shelves everywhere. So, I ate chocolate, which is usually the devils sin so have always stayed far away but, I indulged more or less.  Not a crazy amount, but Easter hit my ass, legs, thighs, and stomach. Or so I think. Or so maybe the new med added to my list...
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Bipolar I

It’s Hard to Go to Your Psychiatrist

It’s a hard thing, for me, to go to my psychiatrist. I know it’s coming on the calendar, and I dread it. I actually forget the date and have to call my psychiatrist and leave a message:

“Hey Dr. I think my appointment is on Thursday the 15th….at 2:30? If i'm wrong call me back, otherwise I’ll be there at that date and time.”

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve left that message. I have...
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