My New Year’s solution (not resolution) has been interesting. I am not one to make “resolutions,” cause quite frankly, often people make these firm rules like, “I am going to lose weight,” or “I am going to stop smoking,” and they disregard what tools they will need to accomplish a particular goal.
Therefore, I turn to looking for a solution, not a resolution for 2020. After giving it some thought, I decided that I would take a good look at my life, and I have come up with a word to use as a mantra to promote change. A wanted a word that would motivate me to amend problematic behavior, and use that word to help make a solution to my challenges.
My word for 2020 is ENERGY, and here is why I decided that would be my solution for the year.
I have a history of becoming quiet when I am disrespected, or verbally manipulated. Often I have found myself in situation where I have been gas lite and feel helpless, confused, and not able to navigate through certain conversations. When I examine those relationships, and my attitude in those relationships, I conclude that I want to surround myself with positive energy, so I can give back positive energy and stay away from negative forces.
As a result, it is going well for me, but maybe not for the people on the receiving end. Twice now, I have hung up on people. Once was with someone that said something disrespectful to me, and usually I’d just take it and shut down, but not with 2020 Energy. I told the person, “You are being disrespectful, and I am going to hang up now.” I’m not being rude, I’m just not going to tolerate disrespectful behavior, or comments when it inflicts negativity in my day.
The other time someone was acting disrespectful toward me, so again I hung up on them. I wasn’t being a jerk or anything, I was just sticking to my plan. Once the negativity entered the conversation I swiftly said, “Ok, you are being rude, and mean, and disrespectful, and I am going to tolerate it.” It might sound harsh, but am I going to be respectful toward myself, or disrespected? It felt good. It felt like I was putting up much needed long overdue boundaries for people that have had a history of getting away with being negative toward me. I felt empowered, I felt confident and respectful toward myself. There can be some confusion between coming across as rude versus direct toward someone. There can be confusion between staying quiet and “kind” versus standing up for yourself. However, if you communicate with the person that you are not going to succumb to abusive behavior, or comments that lack respect, then you are in the driver’s seat. You have every right to seek out those that give positive energy which you can gratefully return. You must take control of your energy, and how you want to utilize it. You’re not going to change someone else’s energy, however, you can recognize negative energy when it crosses your path, and you can choose to walk away, or in my case, hang up the phone.
I have yet to hear from either of those two people that I more or less “checked.” They’re probably surprised by the new boundary that I set that embarks on a journey of engaging with positive energy. We’ll see what unfolds, but I can tell you this, I am not going to be painted as the “bad guy” that is negative cause I refuse to engage in negative vibes. It will be interesting to see if these two people come back with some gas lighting to try and manipulate the situation so that they are the victims and I am in the wrong. Ah, not this time. Not this year. 2020 Energy is on!