I’m not quite sure how it happened, when it happened, or why it happened, but I stopped smoking marijuana. I spend most of my 20’s and 30’s smoking a fair amount of weed, and the other day I was at a party and someone offered me a joint and I was like no thanks. When I walked home it hit me –Β I no longer smoke weed. I couldn’t remember the last time I smoked it. It must be over a year ago and I don’t recall how that happened. It’s not like I made a conscious decision to quit. It’s not like I woke up one day and was like I am no longer going to smoke marijuana.Β I mean, I used to grow it just so I didn’t have to pay for it so it wasn’t a financial decision. It’s not like I stopped to save money or something so that’s not a reason. Is it my age? I’m 42. Am I too old to be a pothead and my mind decided on its own to quit? Maybe. Was I using it as a crutch or escape? Possibly.
I bring all this up cause I wonder what it was that made this major life change. If I can figure that out maybe I can stop some of my other bad habits or vices. I don’t go a day without cheese. I eat meat every day too. That’s not such a bad thing but I’d like to stop eating cheese everyday and maybe just twice a week or something, but I can’t fathom ever doing that. I remember a decade ago I got really fat on lithium and was so desperate to lose weight that I was bulimic for awhile, then one day I just stopped. I remember having the same question like why one day did I just stop throwing up. I was still fat from the lithium, so it’s not like I lost weight and didn’t feel the need to purge anymore, I just stopped.
It’s not easy admitting any of this, but I think it is important that if you find yourself in a position where one day you just stop a bad habit without consciously deciding to do so, you should try and take a minute to reflect on why that happened. That way you can better understand for the next time you might find yourself wanting to make a change in life, or quit a bad habit. If you can figure out what caused the change, you might better be able to make other changes with more ease down the line.