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A Co-dependent Relationship & The Survivor

I made it, I released myself from a co-dependency relationship, so now what? How do I look back on it and what does that mean or say about me?

When I look back and see myself in my mind, my clothes, my job, my overall life, I don’t recognize that person that I was, and would tend to wonder how that happened. Was I that weak? Insecure? Self loathing? No, cause when I really think about it, instead of hating myself, I find myself loving myself even more. Why? Cause I survived. I am a resilient warrior.  It wasn’t easy nor fun but, after the battle you realize what it took to remain in a co-dependency relationship.

When you are in a co-dependency relationship you may think that you’re weak, you may think that are lost, and you may often times find yourself in situations where you think you’re ridiculous, cause you think you became that person while you were in a co-dependency relationship.  You became a person that you don’t recognize now once you’re out, but, it’s actually the opposite.

Sounds backwards, but hear me out.

It takes heart, survivor tactics, strength, endurance, compassion, and vulnerability, to sustain yourself in a co-dependency relationship. So even though you might find yourself beating yourself up when you finally rid yourself from that relationship, you should take a step back.  You should re-examine how you frame that time in your life, and how you look back at the person that you were, cause that person was a survivor. And to think above all that, the fact that co-dependency relationships stem from an upbringing that unfortunately played a hand in your likelihood of ending up in that type of relationship, then the real light comes forth.

In other words, whatever happened in your life and/or childhood that resulted in shaping you into a person that is susceptible to being in a co-dependency relationship, it was those times and experiences that build your survivor skills.

It was those attributes that got you through, and once you are out, you can look back and say, yeah, I made it. I am a conquering warrior.

A Co-dependent Relationship & The Survivor

Erica Loberg

Erica Loberg was born and raised in Los Angeles, CA. She attended Columbia University in New York and graduated with a BA in English. She is a published poet and author of Inside the Insane, Screaming at the Void, What Men Should Know About Women, What Women Should Know About Men, Diamonds From The Rough , Undressed, and I'm Not Playing.

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APA Reference
Loberg, E. (2019). A Co-dependent Relationship & The Survivor. Psych Central. Retrieved on July 13, 2020, from


Last updated: 24 Sep 2019
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