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The 40’s

I’m turning 42-years-old in a couple weeks, and I went to see my doctor recently cause my hands hurt. I used to have trouble with my right hand cause my mouse was too small so I had an ergonomics person come fix my desk and now, out of nowhere, my left hand aches. I’m a writer, so this is serious. I grew up playing the piano, and I remember how much my teacher emphasized good hand posture so, I should have excellent hands but, apparently not. It feel deceived by my body, I feel a sense of regret for not being more aware of these changes, I’m confused, definitely annoyed, and I’m pretty much overall pissed.

No one told me that entering your 40’s meant a total break down of the body, and no one tells you it seems to happen over night. Out of nowhere I had a loss of vision, I experienced weight gain that seems merely impossible to take off, my body has pain in random places, my cholestoral is above average, and my blood pressure is up. It’s depressing. I’m an athlete. I’ve always been in shape, and now I feel like my body has turned against me. It’s not fair cause if you spend a lifetime taking care of yourself, a number like 40 should not mean that all of the years of working out somehow doesn’t count anymore.

And the fact that apparently my blood pressure is higher than last time I saw the doctor is really getting to me. The doctor said I need to buy one of those machines to check it. What? Ok, so I’ll meditate and wait till I am totally chill and see if that can lower the number. Oh, then he discussed blood pressure PILLS. Ok folks, I am not 50. It’s hard enough to know I have to take a mood stabilizer for the rest of my life, I don’t need a medication for any physical aliment for the rest of my life as well. I don’t think I am in denial about my age but, I am not educated on changes that occur in your 40’s. I wish my mom would have sat me down and explained it to me. I asked her the other day about her experience of being in her 40’s, and she said it’s all downhill from here. Great, but a heads up would have been nice. I expected or anticipated some kind of mental mid life crisis, but I don’t have time for an emotional breakdown right now cause my body is breaking down all on its own.  So I need to make a plan.

For starters, I’ll quit eating red meat. Carne asada has always been my guilty pleasure, and now I have to avoid all Carnicerias cause I literally will feel guilty if I eat red meat. Next, I have to cut back on sodium, and stop eating my favorite soups. I don’t even use salt but it seems to be in everything. Cheese? I don’t know if that is even possible cause I’ve been eating cheese on a daily basis my entire life. I feel like if I watch some disturbing video on YouTube about why it’s bad to eat dairy, maybe that might help curb my appetite for destruction. I can cut out sweets, that’s fine. So, I’ll make some adjustments but, if I alter my diet and up my workouts and nothing changes, I will go back to my old ways and just die sooner than later. Sounds morbid but, I’m not going to spend the rest of my life stressing over high blood pressure and my fat gut, ok.

The 40’s


Erica Loberg

Erica Loberg was born and raised in Los Angeles, CA. She attended Columbia University in New York and graduated with a BA in English. She is a published poet and author of Inside the Insane, Screaming at the Void, What Men Should Know About Women, What Women Should Know About Men, Diamonds From The Rough and Undressed.


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APA Reference
Loberg, E. (2019). The 40’s. Psych Central. Retrieved on November 14, 2019, from https://blogs.psychcentral.com/manic-depression/2019/04/02/being-in-your-40s/

 

Last updated: 5 Apr 2019
Statement of review: Psych Central does not review the content that appears in our blog network (blogs.psychcentral.com) prior to publication. All opinions expressed herein are exclusively those of the author alone, and do not reflect the views of the editorial staff or management of Psych Central. Published on PsychCentral.com. All rights reserved.