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Boundaries, People Pleasing & Meltdowns

I should have known things were off when I forgot to bring my headphones to the gym. I raced home from work and went straight to the gym and was fighting the clock so that I could watch the State of the Union address scheduled for 6pm. And it all blew up in my face.

So there I am watching the pregame warm up on Anderson Cooper and, thanks to closed captioning, at least I could read the news on the machine so missing my headphones wasn’t that bad. I finished my cardo and went to the weights. I was seconds too late to get to the machine that every woman in the gym abuse. They sit there in-between reps on their phone. They’ll just sit there for several minutes while the right thing to do would be to get up and let someone else jump in. I have tried tactics in the past like standing beside the machine like I’m waiting but they would just ignore me. This particular woman was all put together; the kind that wears makeup at the gym and is there more so to be scene and look good then anything else. She had cleaned the machine and had it covered in towels so I felt like I couldn’t do anything cause I was a sweaty beast. Why can’t I speak up for myself? Cause I have issues with boundaries. So I walked up to one of my trainer friends and started to complain. He said he was happy to say something but I said no. I felt bad to put him in that situation even though it’s probably part of his job so there we have it – the disease to please. Then I said I needed to work on my boundaries and push back when someone is not right but wasn’t ready to do anything cause the clock was ticking.

So I exit the gym and  head down to the woman’s locker room for my steam. I take a quick steam and am completely dehydrated and parched so walk up to the water station to get some water. A woman was putting towels in a fridge beneath the water station and I literally leaned over her to fill my bottle of water and was dripping from the moister from the steam room and she just started to laugh. Now that is just flat out rude of me. That is another type of person with boundary issues – no boundaries – and definitely not someone that has an issue with the disease to please. It’s basically the complete opposite of boundaries, and the disease to please which I suffered from only moments ago upstairs in the gym area. At that point I was just out of my mind and having a melt down. I profusely apologized and she just laughed and said not to worry about it.

So here I am racing to get dressed and out of there and manage to lock myself out of my locker. Oh the irony. So now I have to go to the front desk and ask someone to open the locker for me, and we walk to the locker room and I go to open the door for her, and she said something like, “You’re a member, you go first.” I was like, “No, that’s ridiculous.” And the next thing I know that jerk from the machine upstairs saunters right in like an entitled prissy you know what. Again, the irony. I almost slammed the door on her I was so peeved but kept my cool in an effort to calm the meltdown. I finally got into my locker and gathered my stuff and raced to the bottom floor. When I exited the building it was 5:55 pm. I had five minutes to get home to watch the speech, and at that point I was like screw it. The meltdown due to my lack of boundaries, and disease to please on multiple levels became too much to deal with so, I took a deep breath and slowly walked home.

I made it home by 6:18 pm. What’d I miss? Just a bunch of people standing up and clapping and sitting down, and standing up and clapping, and sitting down. I only lasted an hour and a half into the show. There is only so much politics I can take at this point in life. But, at the very least, I’ll do my best to have positive gym etiquette across the board. Create boundaries when necessary, be polite and respectful to myself and to others, and avoid any future meltdowns.

Boundaries, People Pleasing & Meltdowns


Erica Loberg

Erica Loberg was born and raised in Los Angeles, CA. She attended Columbia University in New York and graduated with a BA in English. She is a published poet and author of Inside the Insane, Screaming at the Void, What Men Should Know About Women, What Women Should Know About Men, Diamonds From The Rough and Undressed.


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APA Reference
Loberg, E. (2019). Boundaries, People Pleasing & Meltdowns. Psych Central. Retrieved on November 13, 2019, from https://blogs.psychcentral.com/manic-depression/2019/02/06/boundaries-people-pleasing-meltdowns/

 

Last updated: 26 Feb 2019
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